Getting regular medication

[davria]

My mum has mixed dementia, along with some other medical conditions that need to be managed through medication.

My brothers and I live quite a way from my mum and until quite recently she managed her medication as best she could, with our support. She had had dosset boxes, which were not effective. We have tried an automatic pill dispenser which she claimed was broken and forced it round with her key to get to whatever day she thought it was. The upshot of all this was that she was admitted to hospital. Upon discharge, the hospital put some carer visits in place and we have just continued paying for these as it means she gets her medication regularly.

She is now calling me asking to cancel the carers. She is adamant she is capable of taking her medication regularly, which isn't really supported by experience, and she won't consider going into a home (even though she talks about that option regularly but then changes her mind)

I've tried distraction and telling her to leave it with me but today she is determined to cancel the carers. Does anyone have any experience in this area? Any advice gratefully received.

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @davria, welcome to TP.

I don't have experience of this but I'm pretty sure that other members will have and will be along later to advise.

 

[Tin]

I think we have all had experience of the 'denial' and 'I don't need '. Truth is, you know the carers in place are working , her medication is being taken at right time and right amount. I think the threat to cancel carers may just be for your benefit, not sure she will actually do this. Talk to care agency, just to ask how mum is with the carers, is she accepting of them while they are with her. It is hard, but you know the present arrangement is the right thing to do, but always doubt in the back of your mind, that maybe mum can cope, maybe we should give her the control??? I did, and it went so wrong so quickly.

You could may be not respond to all the calls you are getting, are they usually at a certain time of the day? Sundowning could be involved, before I knew about this symptom my mum was ringing me mainly late afternoon and just complaining about everything, slowly discovered that although she was probably not happy with what we had put in place, Sundowning made her non acceptance of anything far worse.

It really is not easy, we the children, are now making huge decisions to keep our parents safe, but we get tough and do what is required.

 

[Rosettastone57]

My mum has mixed dementia, along with some other medical conditions that need to be managed through medication.

My brothers and I live quite a way from my mum and until quite recently she managed her medication as best she could, with our support. She had had dosset boxes, which were not effective. We have tried an automatic pill dispenser which she claimed was broken and forced it round with her key to get to whatever day she thought it was. The upshot of all this was that she was admitted to hospital. Upon discharge, the hospital put some carer visits in place and we have just continued paying for these as it means she gets her medication regularly.

She is now calling me asking to cancel the carers. She is adamant she is capable of taking her medication regularly, which isn't really supported by experience, and she won't consider going into a home (even though she talks about that option regularly but then changes her mind)

I've tried distraction and telling her to leave it with me but today she is determined to cancel the carers. Does anyone have any experience in this area? Any advice gratefully received.

Keep the carers coming. I've had this conversation with my MIL every week for the last 3 years. Of course she lives independently and can do everything herself according to her. She tells me regularly she's going to ring the agency. Well I'm still waiting for that to happen. It won't because she hasn't got the initiative to even think about doing it. I tell her hubbie and I are in charge now , it's not negotiable and it's for my husband's benefit not hers. We don't get into a conversatIon about the why's and wherefore's or that she can't cope. In that way she gets the message that if she doesn't agree her son will be very upset. Harsh perhaps but this works for us.

 

[davria]

I think we have all had experience of the 'denial' and 'I don't need '. Truth is, you know the carers in place are working , her medication is being taken at right time and right amount. I think the threat to cancel carers may just be for your benefit, not sure she will actually do this. Talk to care agency, just to ask how mum is with the carers, is she accepting of them while they are with her. It is hard, but you know the present arrangement is the right thing to do, but always doubt in the back of your mind, that maybe mum can cope, maybe we should give her the control??? I did, and it went so wrong so quickly.

You could may be not respond to all the calls you are getting, are they usually at a certain time of the day? Sundowning could be involved, before I knew about this symptom my mum was ringing me mainly late afternoon and just complaining about everything, slowly discovered that although she was probably not happy with what we had put in place, Sundowning made her non acceptance of anything far worse.

It really is not easy, we the children, are now making huge decisions to keep our parents safe, but we get tough and do what is required.

Thanks for your response Tin, I am in 2 minds as a lot of the advice seems to be that I have to support mum in her decisions, even if I think it is a bad decision. When we tried it before it ended up with mum in hospital but if course she can't remember being in hospital.

I will do all I can to keep the carers coming in. One silver lining, if there is one, is that tomorrow she will focus on something else.

Thanks again.