My husband has mild mixed dementia (vascular and Alzheimer’s). He is still able to take care of his own hygiene and getting dressed but he often doesn’t get downstairs until 2pm. He resists all offers of help and I do what I can to get things organised, such as lay out his clothes and bring him his breakfast and medication but he can’t be hurried and it means that we cannot get to many of the activities provided by our local support group. As he is still fairly active although his mobility is declining, he can get into situations where he needs help for example if he falls. As a result I have had to give up many of the groups I was involved in and I had hoped that we could do the activities together but this is proving difficult if not impossible. How do others deal with this? He still knows his own mind and I’ve learned not to chivvy him along as it’s not worth the battle. At the moment I’m dreading even getting him to the surgery for his flu jab on Saturday morning.
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- Thread starter Jacky54
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Hi @Jacky54 welcome to Dementia Talking Point
I remember this with my dad and I could never get him organised. It wasn’t until he needed carers that he was ready to go at a reasonable time. I used to avoid early morning appointments as I knew I couldn’t get him to anything before about 11.30 (and then only with the promise of lunch). The carers were brilliant - they could get him clean, dressed and breakfasted in 45mins!
Maybe others will have better ideas than me.
I remember this with my dad and I could never get him organised. It wasn’t until he needed carers that he was ready to go at a reasonable time. I used to avoid early morning appointments as I knew I couldn’t get him to anything before about 11.30 (and then only with the promise of lunch). The carers were brilliant - they could get him clean, dressed and breakfasted in 45mins!
Maybe others will have better ideas than me.
If his appetite is still good and he is enjoying his meals, I would suggest that you don't take him his breakfast. If he gets hungry enough, he might come looking for it and come down earlier.
I would tell him that this is what you are going to do. From what you say, there is no need for you to do this so to some extent you are encouraging him to take his time.
I would tell him that this is what you are going to do. From what you say, there is no need for you to do this so to some extent you are encouraging him to take his time.
I started taking everything up to him because he wasn’t coming downstairs and I was worried about his blood pressure medication in particular. He won’t take his tablets without food so I was caught between a rock and a hard place! If carers
Can get their clients up and presentable in 45 minutes as suggested in another reply there must be a way. I gather it’s part of the condition to react differently to other people and save the difficult behaviour for the full time carer. I can but try!
Yes, this is very true. It is known on here as "Host/hostess mode". When they are faced with someone who they dont see very often - particularly other family members and medical staff - there is a subconscious reaction to hide their symptoms and they can appear almost normal. They cant maintain it for long, though, as it takes a great deal of effort. I suspect that this is the main reason that carers can get them to do things that the main carer cant
Medication can be a huge issue and quite a challenge. Could you try taking him a little portion of food for him to take with his tablets? The other thing is that he might not need to take his blood pressure medication in the morning. I have been on blood pressure meds for years but I always take them at night.
