Getting my sister to raise memory issues with GP

Seaside63

New member
Dec 25, 2021
3
0
My 73 year old sister has memory problems which has deteriorated but I can't get her to raise with GP
Our Mum had vascular dementia and my sister was the main carer and we both understand the condition. I had noticed her short term memory was not great and I have tried to persuade her to raise with GP and she will say she will but then make excuses when I ask how she got on. She has expressed a wish she will not go into a care home. With covid, visits are now more telephone conversations. I live 250 miles away and it is very difficult to support. I have her visiting me this year and although I talk to her on phone realise her short term memory is worse than I realised. She will constantly put this down to her age. How do i contact her GP who I don't know and given surgeries have set up contact now mostly online.
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
25,018
0
South coast
Hello @Seaside63 and welcome to Talking Point

Im afraid that one of the symptoms of dementia is loss of insight, so even people who have dealt with this condition in a near relative have no idea that the same thing is happening to them. My mum never accepted that she had dementia, although she would accept that her memory was poor - and she also put this down to her age.

Do you know who her GP is? If so, then I would suggest that you write an email, or letter, to them explaining all your concerns. The GP will read this and it will go in her records. Some GPs are willing to get people with suspected dementia in on a spurious pretext (like a meds check, or a "well woman" check) in order to test them.
 

Seaside63

New member
Dec 25, 2021
3
0
Hello @Seaside63 and welcome to Talking Point

Im afraid that one of the symptoms of dementia is loss of insight, so even people who have dealt with this condition in a near relative have no idea that the same thing is happening to them. My mum never accepted that she had dementia, although she would accept that her memory was poor - and she also put this down to her age.

Do you know who her GP is? If so, then I would suggest that you write an email, or letter, to them explaining all your concerns. The GP will read this and it will go in her records. Some GPs are willing to get people with suspected dementia in on a spurious pretext (like a meds check, or a "well woman" check) in order to test them.
Hi Canary thanks for your comments. My sister recently changed her gp but have now found out new surgery and name so plan to email as getting through by phone is not so easy at the moment due to pandemic.
 

northumbrian_k

Volunteer Host
Mar 2, 2017
4,416
0
Newcastle
Hi @Seaside63 and welcome to our supportive online community. I had enough difficulty getting my wife to go to her GP and we lived in the same house. Doing so from such a distance must be very hard. It will not be easy as your sister is naturally resistant. She may be afraid to find out or - if she has lost insight - just doesn't believe that anything is wrong.

There may be other medical issues that could be affecting her memory and behaviour. It is vital that she sees a GP both to rule these out and (if appropriate) confirm diagnosis of what you suspect. Writing to her GP would be the best way to ensure that you say all that you want succinctly and clearly. That would be more difficult in an initial phone call.

It might be worth asking if the GP would be willing to talk to you on an informal basis, both to glean further information and following any consultation with your sister. There may be limits on what a doctor would say due to patient confidentiality. But a good GP will be prepared to listen to views that may assist in their own investigations.
 

Peppa1963

Registered User
Aug 27, 2021
12
0
Hi,
You are in a difficult position given your distance from each other. My main concern would be ‘is she safe’. If her only symptom is forgetfulness she could be a long way from a diagnosis of dementia. It could just be old age! Ultimately if she is managing, eating, shopping then she’s ok. However if she’s likely to take a bus somewhere and forget where she lives, then you have a problem. In that instance I would contact a welfare officer in social services. Also one last very important point. Have you done an L.P.A...every elderly person should have one in place. One for financial, one for welfare and health. You can do them yourself as I’ve done online for £164
 

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