Hello, this is my first post so apologies if its in the wrong place or for posting on two boards. My mum has not actually been diagnosed with dementia (and she won't go to the doctor) but is definitely struggling with memory and cognitive problems. I am desperately trying to get her to accept help with day to day tasks. I've suggested getting a cleaner or housekeeper to do the stuff she is struggling with, as it would make a difference to both her and my dad. But she says she doesn't want other people in the house and that she will just have to redo everything anyway and it's more trouble than it's worth...my dad is being a trooper and trying to pick up the slack and prevent her accidentally burning the house down when she leaves the hob on, but there's only so much he can do. I am trying my best to help as well but I've got cystic fibrosis and am being assessed for a double lung transplant so I am struggling to look after myself let alone anyone else. Because my mum has devoted a lot of her time to caring for me when I've been ill, she is finding it really hard to accept that she needs help, and I hate the fact that I can't help in the way I want to cos of my health. Is there anything I can do to help her see that it would help both me and my Dad and her, if she would accept some outside assistance. I don't want to force her to do things she doesn't want to, but equally I don't want my dad drowning trying to support mum. I don't know how to help without making things worse as everyone is getting short tempered. Any suggestions as to how to help her, most gratefully received.