1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. Wit's End.2

    Wit's End.2 Registered User

    Nov 25, 2015
    7
    Warwickshire
    Hello, I am new and this is my first post. I just wondered it anyone else out there has trouble getting husband into the car. Yesterday was the worst yet when it took myself and a carer approx 75 minutes before he finally got into the passenger seat so that I could bring him home from daycare. I am at my wits end to know what else I can do, we tried all sorts from nice to nasty all to no avail. This can happen at any time of day in any circumstances. He just stands there or walks around. I am sure his brain is not sending the signals as he is now in his eleventh year of medication but I cannot stay at home all the time!:confused:
     
  2. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,534
    North East England
    Hi Witsend2 - I can identify with this problem. My mam seems to have lost the knowledge of how to get into the car. It's not a physical problem for her but she just doesn't seem to know what to do.

    It was a bit better when dad changed his car and it seemed a bit more ergonomic in design with a bit more space, but he still struggles, especially when collecting her from day care.

    Unfortunately I have no advice! In our case it's just a case of patience and cajoling, but it's very difficult and frustrating for dad at times. You have my sympathy.

    Oh, and welcome to the forum, by the way :). I'm sure others will be along shortly with some practical advice.
     
  3. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    19,037
    Male
    North Manchester
    My method was to put a slide sheet on the seat, sit my wife on it and then spin her round, and then remove the slide sheet before setting off. You can use a strong plastic refuse sack with talc shaken around in it as a make shift slide sheet.

    Don't be tempted to use the back seat, getting the person out can be difficult with both legs straight and feet under the front seat, I've got the T-shirt for that mistake.
     
  4. Wit's End.2

    Wit's End.2 Registered User

    Nov 25, 2015
    7
    Warwickshire
    Thanks CollegeGirl, it does help to know that others have experienced the same sort of problems. I am sure it is a case of loosing the knowledge of how to get into the car but I can empathise with your dad, it is extremely frustrating!
     
  5. Wit's End.2

    Wit's End.2 Registered User

    Nov 25, 2015
    7
    Warwickshire
    Good idea of the slide sheet Nitram but my problem is to get him to sit down in the first place. I will certainly remember the advice to not use the back seat though - I would not have thought of any problem with that. Thanks
     
  6. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,594
    Female
    Dundee
    This happens from time to time with my husband. I find that if I sit in the passenger seat then get out and say to him something like 'now it's your turn' he almost always does it. I do say almost always! He more often refuses to get out of the car. I've tried glide sheets and bin bags and all sorts. The fist thing he does when he looks into the car is to pick it up and throw it onto the back seat!!:rolleyes:
     
  7. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    19,037
    Male
    North Manchester
    "...my problem is to get him to sit down in the first place..."

    If part of the problem is grabbing part of the car with a vice like grip see if you can get him to hold something with both hands before you approach the car. It could be some kind of present from the day centre, you could pass the present to staff on your way in.
     
  8. Wit's End.2

    Wit's End.2 Registered User

    Nov 25, 2015
    7
    Warwickshire
    Have tried that too Izzy but without saying 'now it is your turn' will give that a go next time. As to getting him out of the car I usually find I can lift his foot out (as his weight is not on his feet) and then he will do it himself. Same thing really - showing him what to do! Thank you.
     
  9. Wit's End.2

    Wit's End.2 Registered User

    Nov 25, 2015
    7
    Warwickshire
    Not really grabbing the car nitram, more a case of fiddling, but to occupy the hands is worth a try, thank you.
     
  10. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    19,037
    Male
    North Manchester
    If somebody else is present try getting into the driving seat and get the other person to suggest that he gets in the car with you to go HOME.
     
  11. Wit's End.2

    Wit's End.2 Registered User

    Nov 25, 2015
    7
    Warwickshire
    Tried that one too nitram, it didn't work either but thank you.
     
  12. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,594
    Female
    Dundee
    If Bill is in the right mood he presses his feet hard down into the floor of the car. Neither man nor beast can move him! My latest is dropping the car keys on top of his foot and asking if he can just move his foot a bit so I can get my keys. Sometimes he won't. When he does loosen his grip on the floor I grab that leg and whirl it round. The second foot is then easier to move!

    I picked Bill up at the day centre at 3 today and he wouldn't get into the car! He must have known I was writing about him! I had to do the showing him bit several times before he gave in.
     
  13. nitram

    nitram Registered User

    Apr 6, 2011
    19,037
    Male
    North Manchester
    #13 nitram, Nov 26, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2015
    "Neither man nor beast can move him! "

    But Izzy being neither of these can.

    "I grab that leg and whirl it round."

    I often think that many of the things I did, not only for getting in/out of a car, would be bordering on the 'incorrect and unacceptable' in the view of 'professionals' who had never stood outside a car door in the pouring rain persuading the #'#~~~' to get out of the car!
     
  14. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,594
    Female
    Dundee
    I know!! To be honest I have a good look round to see there's nobody about before I do it. Usually when we get to that point Bill springs up with a big grin on his face too!!
     
  15. Wit's End.2

    Wit's End.2 Registered User

    Nov 25, 2015
    7
    Warwickshire
    I really thank all of you guys and girls for your imput. I will admit to having a good look around on occasions too. I have a few things to try next time - which could be tomorrow. My thanks to you all. xx
     
  16. sleepless

    sleepless Registered User

    Feb 19, 2010
    3,232
    Female
    The Sweet North
    Izzy, you are watching too much 'Strictly'!!!
     
  17. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,594
    Female
    Dundee
    Now you mention it I think it's a bit like an Argentine Tango!!:D
     

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