Hello all, I am new to talking point. It is becoming evermore evident that my mother has dementia. She has attended the local memory clinic and was discharged approximately a year ago, she did feel it was all unnecessary. I am concerned that if she does not get a diagnosis she could be missing out on treatments that could help her. Is there anyone else who has been in this position, I do not know how to approach this to get the ball rolling. My mum is a very proud lady and would probably deny having any issues although I know she has an awareness. She has a husband (not my father) who is not the easiest to talk to. Any suggestions gratefully received. Heather
Getting a diagnosis
- Thread starter Heather2063
- Start date
Sometimes it can take a while to get a diagnosis. If she has already been seen at the memory clinic then the best thing is to go back there. Does her husband share your concerns?
Hi Heather, welcome to TP
You say she's been seen by the memory clinic and discharged by them, this would indicate that either they don't think she has any form of dementia and her memory issues may just be normal age related "slowing down" (you don't say how old she is)
or that they have recommended treatment and discharged her into the care of her GP.
Have you seen any of the letters or is what you know what your mother has told you, if so (in the nicest way possible) it may be what she wants you to believe.
I think her husband "who is not the easiest to talk to" (how often do you hear that said about men on here
) needs to be got on side. Firstly if he doesn't he may cause her condition to worsen unnecessarily, secondly his life will become much harder as a result of this and he needs to accept this and work with you to get to the bottom of it.
If she has AZ then when diagnosed she will get treatment (Aricept/Donepezil probably) and access to help which may be of financial benefits and carers which will help her and make his life easier too. Being in denial when you or a partner/parent may have AZ doesn't really help but I do think you need to find a way to work with him unless he really doesn't want to know in which case I would start by writing to her GP explain the situation and expressing your concerns.
K
You say she's been seen by the memory clinic and discharged by them, this would indicate that either they don't think she has any form of dementia and her memory issues may just be normal age related "slowing down" (you don't say how old she is)
or that they have recommended treatment and discharged her into the care of her GP.
Have you seen any of the letters or is what you know what your mother has told you, if so (in the nicest way possible) it may be what she wants you to believe.
I think her husband "who is not the easiest to talk to" (how often do you hear that said about men on here
) needs to be got on side. Firstly if he doesn't he may cause her condition to worsen unnecessarily, secondly his life will become much harder as a result of this and he needs to accept this and work with you to get to the bottom of it.If she has AZ then when diagnosed she will get treatment (Aricept/Donepezil probably) and access to help which may be of financial benefits and carers which will help her and make his life easier too. Being in denial when you or a partner/parent may have AZ doesn't really help but I do think you need to find a way to work with him unless he really doesn't want to know in which case I would start by writing to her GP explain the situation and expressing your concerns.
K
Thank you for your responses, My mother is 75 years old, my nan had AZ (she was about the same age when she started to show symptoms) so I believe this makes it more likely. As I said before my mum is a proud woman and I think you may be right in as much as I have not been given all the information. My mum did not tell me until she'd been discharged from the memory clinic so left no option for my involvement. I will speak to her husband, he has expressed his concerns but maybe feels at a loss what to do now she has been discharged.
I agree with Kevin that it would help you to find out whether the memory clinic discharged your mum because she doesn't have dementia or because she does and the GP is now going to be responsible for any possible treatment. Until this is clarified, I don't see that you are going to make any progress.
She could also have been discharged because she didn't attend appointments, in her belief that there is nothing wrong with her. If so, it will be very difficult to persuade her to attend again, but you could ask whether they do house visits for the stubborn.
