It is fairly obvious to my siblings and myself that our beloved mother has some form of dementia. She is 82 and has deteriorated rapidly in the past 6 months. She and Dad now live in a Hostel for the Aged (a very good one I'm glad to say) and the relief she seems to be feeling because she no longer has to cope with everything is a joy to behold. (They have only been in there for a month.) Dad is severely handicapped, so for the past 15 years Mum has done literally everything for him - which he takes as his due!!
He does not accept that she is declining, and when I tried to gently broach the subject with Mum herself, she was very upset. Said she was just "tired and stressed" and said she'd "have to kill myself" if she had dementia.
Mum does not have a diagnosis and we would like her to start on appropriate medication if this is deemed the best thing. What are the experiences of other Carers in getting their family member diagnosed? (I do understand that a definitive diagnosis of Alzheimer's is not possible until after death, but I'm talking about a workable, every-day diagnosis. Also, on this site I've read that there are other forms of dementia, so I think we need to know - as best we can - what is happening with Mum so we can get her the best possible treatment.)
I have considered asking the Nursing staff in the Hostel to arrange assessment for her - would this be wise? Also, I hate the thought of lying to Mum but as her response to the idea of dementia was SO strong, should we just tell her we've organised "a general health check" rather than a specific dementia test?
I know many of you will have had experiences that would guide us in this (I have two sisters and a brother, and we are all very involved and very concerned).
Could you give us your suggestions, advice, tell us what worked and what didn't work, in your situations?
Thank you in anticipation of your replies.
Nell
He does not accept that she is declining, and when I tried to gently broach the subject with Mum herself, she was very upset. Said she was just "tired and stressed" and said she'd "have to kill myself" if she had dementia.
Mum does not have a diagnosis and we would like her to start on appropriate medication if this is deemed the best thing. What are the experiences of other Carers in getting their family member diagnosed? (I do understand that a definitive diagnosis of Alzheimer's is not possible until after death, but I'm talking about a workable, every-day diagnosis. Also, on this site I've read that there are other forms of dementia, so I think we need to know - as best we can - what is happening with Mum so we can get her the best possible treatment.)
I have considered asking the Nursing staff in the Hostel to arrange assessment for her - would this be wise? Also, I hate the thought of lying to Mum but as her response to the idea of dementia was SO strong, should we just tell her we've organised "a general health check" rather than a specific dementia test?
I know many of you will have had experiences that would guide us in this (I have two sisters and a brother, and we are all very involved and very concerned).
Could you give us your suggestions, advice, tell us what worked and what didn't work, in your situations?
Thank you in anticipation of your replies.
Nell