Germany - The Sadness Continues

Discussion in 'End of life care' started by CatKins 1, Jun 17, 2019.

  1. CatKins 1

    CatKins 1 Registered User

    Aug 1, 2015
    26
    My sister is in a Care Home in Bavaria, Germany. It was not possible or affordable to bring her back to the UK. She is now bedridden, cannot speak or do anything for herself and does not know me. Her care at the Nursing Home seems quite good but there is a limit to how many times I can visit. I received a call last March to say things had deteriorated and I should go there straight away. All I could think was how sad it all is but glad she would have a happy release and be free; but somehow she rallied. The sadness of seeing her in this condition is unbearable and seems cruel to her. Apologies, this thread is not the most uplifting but sometimes it helps just to express how you're feeling while knowing that I am not alone in all this.
     
  2. la lucia

    la lucia Registered User

    Jul 3, 2011
    591
    I'm so sorry that you are going through this. My sister lives in another country and I dread anything happening to her. It was hard enough dealing long distance with my dad's dementia. But siblings are something else - I guess they remind us of childhood maybe?

    At least she's being well cared for. That's a small mercy I guess but keep talking please don't be alone with it.
     
  3. Just me

    Just me Registered User

    Nov 17, 2013
    74
    That’s sad CatKins and must be hard from you being so far away.
    Does your sister have other relatives that live nearby and are visiting her?
     
  4. Dino

    Dino Registered User

    Aug 7, 2011
    76
    So sorry catKins. It is awful and I know how hard it all is for you.

    I hope you do have some peace knowing your sister is being taken care of.

    . I live in the US and mum is in England. She's at end of life being given morphine, not eating and drinking so little. Hasn't know who I am for years, can't speakor understand anything, hand fed etc.

    It breaks your heart, it's so cruel. I spent last October to the end of March with mum but had to come back.

    I am going back again soon.
    I pray that mum passes away soon so she can be out of this hell.

    Many hugs...people here understand.
     
  5. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    9,653
    Female
    South coast
    Im so sorry, it is hard when they are so far away, but Im glad that she is being well cared for,

    Being at End of Life and then rallying happens far more with dementia than you would suppose. I was told 3 times that mum was at End of Life, and then she rallied. Eventually, of course, at the fourth time, she didnt.
    (((((((((((hugs))))))))))
     
  6. Karen22

    Karen22 Registered User

    Nov 3, 2012
    61
    You have my deepest sympathy. I was called many times when dad was in hospital and not expected to survive. In the end, when his end, came it was awful and I have no resolution about it at the moment. It's a cruel illness but also hospital staff need to have the courage to use Anticipatory Medicines and not prolong or add to suffering any more than necessary. It's too late for my dad now but I hope lessons are learned, unsure if they will be. I hope your sister is free soon and you can find peace.
    Karen
     

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