General Advice!!!!

tassie devil

Registered User
Aug 15, 2006
Hello all, haven't mailed for a long time as things seem to have been rolling along quite smoothly! To update, my Mum was diagnosed August 2006. She now accepts that she has to take her daily pill, but anything out of the ordinary/different coming into the equation completely throws her. She had to go to the doctors on Friday (my brother took her) and he has prescribed tablets for an ongoing arthritic knee problem. To confuse the situation she also has a corn on the other foot. My brother showed her how to change the plaster and what tablets to take (he then went home and typed up step by step instructions). I had popped in later that day and the corn plaster was off and her foot was pink - she had got completely frustrated and confused and had rubbed the iburofen tablet onto the corn. She also thought that morning had been the day before.

To anyone outside it sounds quite funny, but it really is quite draining and even after all this time it's still hard to get your head around things.

My brother did pop back later that night, and on Saturday it was a completely different story. She knew and understood what she had to do, although she does object to taking so many tablets!

Mum has had a lot to deal with over the last couple of months. My sister has recently moved to Ireland, so that's one less person coming in to see her. She also has her memory assessment coming up which always annoys her as she doesn't see why she has to go, now we have another hospital x-ray appointment. She does live on her own and had regular visits from Social Services who were happy for her to be living on her own. She is still able to manage the normal day-to-day living.

I must admit my patience levels have greatly increased, I don't get frustrated with her as she's like a vulnerable child when she's upset. It's like she knows there's something wrong, she's just very stubborn and won't accept it.

Although like I say it's very draining, is this the best way of dealing with things. I know everyone is different it's just difficuly to know the best way to tackle things.


Registered User
Feb 22, 2006
sort of north east ish
hi tassie. sounds to me like you're doing really well with it. i don't know that there really is a "best way" to tackle things. it's not only that everyone is different ...... it's also that each individual is different day to day. i know what worked with dad one day could be a complete waste of time another day. and i think my ability to cope with it varied widely on different days.

i agree that it's draining. and one of the hardest and most frustrating things is that you think you've thought of everything and got a good plan ........ but you've only thought of every logical and conceivable possibility ....... and people with dementia have the amazing ability to come up with something else - like rubbing ibruprofen on the corn :eek:

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Hi tassie,

Well done for realizing how much more pateince is needed when someone has Alzheimers. You sound as if you are coping well.

Your mum seems a strong minded lady who is trying to fight this condition for all she`s worth.
What I can say is there will be many days when she seems perfectly aware of what she needs to do, but others when she is very confused. This is how it is. As confusing as it is for us, just imagine how confusing it is for them.

So step by step instructions may be helpful sometimes, but useless at other times and you`ll never know when. This is by no means a criticism, just an acknowledgement of the trial and error aspect of caring for someone with AD.

Take care and let us know how your mum gets on.

blue sea

Registered User
Aug 24, 2005
Hi Tassie
You sound as if you're doing brilliantly! As the situation changes, you have to change your responses/ strategies. You never really know when you're getting it right and when you're not, but you just have to do what seems best at the moment.
Blue sea


Registered User
Sep 10, 2005
Hi Tassie

I could have written your post! You are in a very similar situation with your mum as I am with mine. I feel I've developed more patience (well, most of the time :D ) and coping strategies to get me through. Although sometimes it does seem frustrating when she understands everything and then, seemingly, certain things have 'slipped' irretrievably.

You sound like you're doing a great job. It's good that your mum is still in her own place. My mum's CPN/SW is very keen for my mum to stay put as well. She said it's absolutely key to tackling the disease and keeping skills that we take for granted.

Keep up the good work and best wishes to you and your family.