Loveleemummy, Although you have told hubby, he has not grasped/remembered that his mum has passed away so I am not sure anything would be achieved by his attending the funeral except perhaps satisfying the expectations of others.
When my father died 18 years ago my mum was in nursing home (advanced dementia). The advice I was given at the NH was that mum must go to the funeral as she needs to "say goodbye and have closure". I remember thinking at the time if mum did not have dementia I would think that too, but I went with their advice, took mum to funeral (she had no idea where she was, or why, in spite of having everything explained to her). She was not upset, just detached from feeling anything, locked in her world of dementia. I was very close to my dad, was devastated to lose him and so sad to see mum so devoid of awareness of losing the husband she had been so close to - they were a devoted couple.
Back at the NH they tried get her to talk about what had happened. When I visited, mum said they keep telling me about someone who has died - she had no idea who they were talking about. When I spoke to staff they told me she was upset whenever any of them talked to her about her husband's death but she seems to forget so quickly so we try to remind her! Every time they reminded her she was upset all over again, only to forget till the next time they told her! I suggested that it would be kinder to mum to stop trying to remind her and thereby upsetting her over and over again.
Lilac xx