I recently bought a funeral plan for my mum. I don't have £4-5K to spend on a funeral and then claim back from the estate. My mum's executor is her former solicitor, not even her current one, so we felt arrangements needed to be in place with a funeral director so that there is a clear plan of action, even if the executor is not immediately available to take charge.
Also, because my brothers live overseas, her body will need to be in cold storage for probably several weeks before the funeral can take place. This is part of the pre-paid plan. In addition, my mum will be buried with my dad in a cemetery 100 miles from where she lives, so the plan includes staff supplied to go with the hearse and carry out the interment.
We chose not to include a memorial service with the plan. The family will organise what seems appropriate at the time. A notice will go in the local paper but if the family wants an announcement in a national paper then we can pay for that as extra.
I have bought the clothes I want her buried in because I don't like the gowns that funeral directors supply.
I found out recently that my dad was buried in one. I don't think he would have liked that. Why wasn't he buried in a suit? I don't know, as I wasn't allowed to be involved.
At least this time I've had time to plan what I think my mum would like, including an eco coffin. The thought of her being buried in a giant picnic basket makes us smile. It reminds us of all those carefully organised family picnics where you had to eat all the savoury sandwiches before you were allowed a banana or a Penguin biscuit. Our favourite photograph, which is on the wall in front of me as I write, is of my mum and two of us children having a picnic in a field in Wales.
For me, having had the luxury of planning the arrangements in advance will allow me to focus better on my mum's life, and our memories of family events, rather than on her final years of decline. I suppose what I mean is that I wanted to make choices and ask the relevant questions at a time when it was still 'in the future', not at the highly stressful time of recent bereavement. My need to stay in control I suppose.