Any advice of how to handle this plus saying fears out loud so it won't happen..
MIl lives with us for 17months mixed dementia still has capacity most days. sad scenario have OHcousin , MIL niece's funeral late today only 50, daughter of MIL's beloved younger but invisible brother whom lives along way away and has his own problems to be fair.
The poor cousin stayed at MIL house when having medical treatment after miL moved in with us as the cousin lived abroad but was having their treatment here and had no where to stay ....MiL was all for it etc etc but once they were living their nothing but vitriol re:' I was thrown out so they could move in .... they aren't paying billl (they were). how dare they ....they should be paying rent....and worse..'
MIL was so nasty that me and OH and SIL stopped mentioning cousin at all in front of mIl even though it regular contact with cousin only stayed 3 months whilst the house was sold and meant we didn't have to worry about an empty house etc wtc.. House has been sold a year but MIL asked is that where cousin died..
Anyhow OH told MiL when cousin died, she was sad for her brother but has made no reference to it since.... I am worried she is going to start any these untruths or making comments 'w ell I had to leave my house etc ' to people at the funeral , her brother who she gets on well with has no idea about dementias effect
will likely go ballistic... as his his nature and say something equally upsetting
Its not my call to say no or yes to her going OH thinks it will be all fine.... this will also be the first funeral that MIL has attended since FIL died.. She has just been taken of donezepil 5mg due to her accusations etc
Any suggestions or am I being paranoid..(hopefully)
MIl lives with us for 17months mixed dementia still has capacity most days. sad scenario have OHcousin , MIL niece's funeral late today only 50, daughter of MIL's beloved younger but invisible brother whom lives along way away and has his own problems to be fair.
The poor cousin stayed at MIL house when having medical treatment after miL moved in with us as the cousin lived abroad but was having their treatment here and had no where to stay ....MiL was all for it etc etc but once they were living their nothing but vitriol re:' I was thrown out so they could move in .... they aren't paying billl (they were). how dare they ....they should be paying rent....and worse..'
MIL was so nasty that me and OH and SIL stopped mentioning cousin at all in front of mIl even though it regular contact with cousin only stayed 3 months whilst the house was sold and meant we didn't have to worry about an empty house etc wtc.. House has been sold a year but MIL asked is that where cousin died..
Anyhow OH told MiL when cousin died, she was sad for her brother but has made no reference to it since.... I am worried she is going to start any these untruths or making comments 'w ell I had to leave my house etc ' to people at the funeral , her brother who she gets on well with has no idea about dementias effect
will likely go ballistic... as his his nature and say something equally upsetting
Its not my call to say no or yes to her going OH thinks it will be all fine.... this will also be the first funeral that MIL has attended since FIL died.. She has just been taken of donezepil 5mg due to her accusations etc
Any suggestions or am I being paranoid..(hopefully)