Think I'll know the answer, but got a bit of a dilemma. My OH (4 years with Alzheimer's) has an awful short term memory plus the other usual aggressive behaviour etc. However a mutual friend who takes him to play snooker occasionally (not 100% sure if he understands the extent of OH problems) has said there is a funeral tomorrow of a mutual acquaintance, and as he's on holiday, to let OH know if he wants to go. Now, this was an old "drinking buddy" from about 12 years ago when things were normal. OH has never mentioned him and I know they don't see him. Do I mention it and go? This persons family are Irish so it will be a big wake afterwards. My concern is if OH will want to keep drinking etc, he can be aggressive with me if I try and stop him, is it worth it? And obviously it will be taking him out of his routine. My thought is not to go, but am I being selfish? There have been lots of times more recently where we've avoided family get togethers ( he's got a large family but never usually see him...that's another story!). Suppose it's just another step away from having a "normal" life, maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself with all the caring, but not sure if I'm doing the right thing.