Lisa, don't give up, keep asking, keep praying, keep bugging. I will pray for you and your family, but please don't throw God away. I have been where you are, maybe not so bad, but I suffered a nervous breakdown and had to give up my job to look after both my parents and my uncle who had cancer, all at the same time. My mom has vascular dementia, my dad has no short term memory and is elderly frail. I wanted to commit suicide. One time I had 20 phone calls in 20 minutes from my mom and dad, I felt as you did, I couldn't go on, I was screaming at God, why don't you help me? I phoned my brother who lives in Norfolk and told him it's me or her, I can't do it any more, he came straight over and soon after both my parents were in a care home, then the guilt sets in ............................! I am lucky, I have the support of 2 brothers and a sister, they all live miles away and they always come if there's a problem. See, I was the mug, I stayed put near my parents so everything fell on me. Now the guilt never goes away, but they are looked after better than I could do. I kept going to church, I made many freinds, my parents were put on the prayer list, everyone there asks me often how they are and if I need it I can always talk to some one there, and it really does help, they are all so kind,and it's amazing how many other peole I have found with relatives with dementia. I do feel a lot better now, much more calm and happier, they have been in the home for 4 years now and the carers are excellent. I do hope you can find peace soon. Please keep us informed of any progress. Keep smiling!
Love debrina