It has been a while since I last posted a thread on this site, I needed advice as to how to get a very obstinate 94 MIL (who lives with us and has done so for 32 years) into respite care, and also to unload some of my anger and frustration regarding the officialdom and its systems. Well some good news at least, MIL agreed to go into respite in July for 2 weeks in order that hubby and I could have a well earnt holiday and to save our marriage(it had got that bad). To her amazement MIL actually enjoyed her stay and wished she could be there longer!! however, since she has come back home, things have got slowly worse. Walking, which was not a problem before respite has got worse, she finds the walk down the hallway to her bedroom and to the separate toilet very difficult. Things are so bad that she now wears pads to help with the incontinence problems, (I am not good at clearing up the mess she leaves in the loo at times!!) It seems that everything is now too much bother, her moans and groans are worse, I seem to bear the brunt of everything and I am finding things extremely difficult. We have had a meeting all of us with her social worker with a view to full time care at the same care home she went to in July. All the positive points were accentuated to MIL, ie home cooked food, baths, someone ready to help her 24hours a day, company with similar age group etc etc, MIL FLATLY REFUSED, she has agreed to 2 weeks again in late September for a 'holiday'. My question through this wonderful site is this, can we refuse to have Mum back home after 2 weeks is up?? its our house and our marriage, I know it seems a very harsh decision to take but I simply cannot take anymore. Mum still has carers in 4xdayx7days week to see to her basic needs but still refuses to accept she needs 24 hour care now( she has also had several falls at home since respite).