I know some people will not think highly of what I have to say, but this is only from my own personal experience.
In my working life, I worked with physical disabled students in a mainstream school. I then went onto caring for someone in their home, 5 days out of 7 - no night duty.
Last year my sister-in-law was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia, before and after the diagnosis, my husband and I were beginning to care for her more and more.
It went from popping in three times a week for a couple of hours.
To going in every day, nearly all day. No sooner getting home when the phone would ring, because she could not lock the door - even though we had made sure she was secure before leaving.
To getting phonecalls during the night, relating to going shopping to asking what time it was. Finally, we got Social Services involved, and Respite care was organized, to give us the rest.
Then she came home, and we decided to divide the days and hours between us. Basically, it was 2 of us working a 24 hour shift 7 days a week. Family and friends cannot always be relied upon because they have their own lives to lead.
Home care was offered, to make sure she got her medication, the lies she told (of course because of the illness) about eating/drinking fluids/ medication. Of course there were no sleep overs from home care.
Respite became more and more available, much to my sister-in-laws approval to go.
Gradually, this eased her into full time care, and life became better for us all round. No longer did we become to 'resent' my sister-in-law.
We can now enjoy visits as we use to, converse at leisure and just enjoy the company again.
As much as we love the ones we care for, caring too much can cause resentment. Its not worth being a martyr, and risk losing the good that was there.
What you can do is make sure you find the right kind of full time care they deserve, and the dignity to enjoy their life.
If your not happy with anything then complain or move on, but never ever just 'put up with it'.
You have to be at peace of mind, knowing your loved one is taken care of.
And remember, who will take care of both you and your loved one, if you fall ill...
In my working life, I worked with physical disabled students in a mainstream school. I then went onto caring for someone in their home, 5 days out of 7 - no night duty.
Last year my sister-in-law was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia, before and after the diagnosis, my husband and I were beginning to care for her more and more.
It went from popping in three times a week for a couple of hours.
To going in every day, nearly all day. No sooner getting home when the phone would ring, because she could not lock the door - even though we had made sure she was secure before leaving.
To getting phonecalls during the night, relating to going shopping to asking what time it was. Finally, we got Social Services involved, and Respite care was organized, to give us the rest.
Then she came home, and we decided to divide the days and hours between us. Basically, it was 2 of us working a 24 hour shift 7 days a week. Family and friends cannot always be relied upon because they have their own lives to lead.
Home care was offered, to make sure she got her medication, the lies she told (of course because of the illness) about eating/drinking fluids/ medication. Of course there were no sleep overs from home care.
Respite became more and more available, much to my sister-in-laws approval to go.
Gradually, this eased her into full time care, and life became better for us all round. No longer did we become to 'resent' my sister-in-law.
We can now enjoy visits as we use to, converse at leisure and just enjoy the company again.
As much as we love the ones we care for, caring too much can cause resentment. Its not worth being a martyr, and risk losing the good that was there.
What you can do is make sure you find the right kind of full time care they deserve, and the dignity to enjoy their life.
If your not happy with anything then complain or move on, but never ever just 'put up with it'.
You have to be at peace of mind, knowing your loved one is taken care of.
And remember, who will take care of both you and your loved one, if you fall ill...