1. Expert Q&A: Living well as a carer - Thurs 29 August, 3-4pm

    As a carer for a person living with dementia, the needs of the person you care for will often come before your own. You may experience a range of difficult emotions and you may not have the time to do all the things you need to do. Caring can have a big impact on both your mental and physical health, as well as your overall wellbeing.

    Angelo, our Knowledge Officer (Wellbeing) is our expert on this topic. He will be here to answer your questions on Thursday 29 August between 3-4pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

Frustration/anger

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Acco, Jun 10, 2015.

  1. Acco

    Acco Registered User

    Oct 3, 2011
    228
    Sorry to moan but my experience may help others faced with a similar situation in the UK.
    I have been caring for my wife full time and now reached a stage where in the interests of both of us I need support. This morning I contacted a company to see if I could arrange private support. They were helpful and suggested I needed to contact Social Services (SS) in the first place as this would be the best route to obtaining the support I needed as they would prepare a care plan etc. - they kindly provided the local SS telephone number. I contacted the local SS on the number only to be told they no longer have responsibilty and gave me the number of the County Council SS. A phone call to that number resulted in me being told they cannot make any arrangements until the Intermediate Care Team (ICT) have visited us. To get them to visit I need to contact our GP with a request he arranges an urgent referal to the ICT. This saga, in part, because my wife is now unable to take her weight on her own legs.
    We saw our GP two weeks ago and I am very appreciative of his understanding, advice and help. At that time our GP said he would request visits to us by a physiotherapist, an occupational therapist and put us on the register of the community nurse. The last time something similar was arranged (for continence support) it was 5wks before we saw the community nurse and a further 3mnths before we were visited by an OT arranged by the community nurse.
    Is there any wonder I am losing my hair!!
     
  2. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    Acco, you've given enough info here to take it point by point. Now go to your doctor and request the ICT to get things started. The longer you leave it, the longer it takes and the less you will be seen as needing support.

    It's a real test, emotionally/mentally, to get things started, but now you've been told what to do, please, for your own sake, get stuck in.

    I know what my supporters here would tell me to do, and they'd probably say the same thing. Get stuck in.

    All the very best to you, and do keep coming on here for advice and support. I understand the anger and frustration. Been through that many times.
     
  3. Acco

    Acco Registered User

    Oct 3, 2011
    228
    Understood, Chuggalug, and advice appreciated. I have actually contacted GP re urgent ICT as soon as made aware by SS. Thank you.
     
  4. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    Well done, Acco. Well done. Hope the response is good for you.
     
  5. Acco

    Acco Registered User

    Oct 3, 2011
    228
    Earlier today I became concerned about my wife who was very quiet and unresponsive and following a call to our GP she has been admitted to hospital under 999 emergency. I will be telephoning to find what her status is later. This situation has coincidentally reinforced my previous calls regarding support and I am assured a care package will be in place in readiness for Pat's discharge.
     
  6. Chuggalug

    Chuggalug Registered User

    Mar 24, 2014
    8,007
    Norfolk
    Oh, well, that's very interesting. Not to frighten you, Acco, but my hubby went in with a broken hip. 1 operation later and a month in hospital, our care cover started swinging into action. I'm due a review soon, and we'll know then how we'll be continuing.

    He's been in the CH for just over a week, so far.
     
  7. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,302
    Cotswolds
    Hi Acco, I am so sorry that Pat has had to be admitted to hospital. It's such a difficult time for both of you.

    If only there had been time for the ICT to get involved......However, I have to say that now Pat is in hospital, it is usually a very good place to get care started. Not least because the hospital has to ensure a safe discharge, and in order to do so, they have to be sure that you have the appropriate support / equipment in place.

    I hope you get some rest, and that Pat is fit for discharge soon.

    Take care :)

    Lindy xx
     

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