Frustrating times


Registered User
Aug 25, 2004
Hello all

I haven't been on here for ages but thought now might be a good time to come back.

Mum is so lovely but now has real bladder problems ... she just goes whereever whenever and refuses to were incontinence pants etc. I am at the end of my tether (is that how you spell it?)

She is happy to wear wet shoes and I am forever washing them as best I can. There are puddles on her (shared) carpeted entrance and she's even done it in a shop.

I don't know what to do?! She's on bladder stability medication. We are going to the memory clinic in 3 weeks but it's soooo frustrating as she is fairly OK apart from this, bad short term memory and problems with night and day.

I feel so sorry for her. I'm not sure if shes in denial about it or genuinely not aware its happening sometimes

I know there probably isn't a solution but thanks for listening


Registered User
Dec 11, 2003
Tully, Qld, Australia
Hi Codie,

I've been through a bit of this with my Mother. I thought it was going to be forever but she actually stopped having this problem after a couple of months. Could have been anxietly perhaps? Anyway, all seems fine now. Here's hoping that things work out for you too - in the short term at least.



Registered User
Mar 27, 2004
Hello Codle

I have this problem with Margaret who refuses to use pads, but I have got her to wear padded knickers which helps a little.

I try to get her to the toilet every two hours, not alway easy as she sometimes refuses to go when I ask.

The padded knickers absorb some but are really designed for mild bladder weakness and not for someone who doesn't know they are passing water in full flood as it were.

I use disposable waterproof sheets on the bed and have waterproof pads on the chairs she uses and on the car seat. I have recently bought a tumble dryer in order to keep up with drying the clothes I have to wash each day

Another problem is getting her washed and dry after each episode, as she gets very cross when I try to do anything of that nature for her, but won't or can't do it herself.

I don't think your mum will know what she is doing and they don't seem to feel the discomfort of wet clothes. It is obviously some of the connections to the brain that have been blanked off.

I am quite interested to hear of medication for bladder stability, no one has mentioned that to me, neither the doctor or the incontinence advisor at out local hospital, although from the tone of your post it doesn''t seem to be very effective.

I am afraid it is a long hard battle you are facing, and the answer seems to be containing rather than curing. Hope this is of some help.

Cheers Barraf

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