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Frustrated

Jellybean8

Registered User
Jan 12, 2015
11
Glasgow
My mum has vascular dementia + Alzheimers. She "cares" for my father who is elderly and frail because of spinal osteoporosis. For the last 3-4 weeks Mum has called my sister and I (neither of us live near them) just about every day to say "Dad is not well - he has spent the day in bed and doesnt want to eat." We have asked her to make an appt with the GP but she wont / cant do it or says my Dad doesnt want to the the Dr. I have spoken to the GP and called him to visit them before and he is not very helpful - he thinks their problems are "social" and, to be fair, the last time I asked him to visit them my Dad got out of the bed, was sitting dressed and told the GP I was just making a fuss...! My sister and I are at our wits end. It is impossible to know what is actually going on with them and to try to pick through the confabulation / confusion and odd behaviour of both parents. I will be visiting them this weekend but any ideas how to deal with this ???
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,070
Scotland
Tricky! Could you arrange for a carer to call in by saying it is a friend of yours who wants to keep you in touch with how they are? If you were getting bulletins regularly it would either ease your mind or let you know what more is needed.
 

chelsea girl

Registered User
Jan 25, 2015
139
My mum has vascular dementia + Alzheimers. She "cares" for my father who is elderly and frail because of spinal osteoporosis. For the last 3-4 weeks Mum has called my sister and I (neither of us live near them) just about every day to say "Dad is not well - he has spent the day in bed and doesnt want to eat." We have asked her to make an appt with the GP but she wont / cant do it or says my Dad doesnt want to the the Dr. I have spoken to the GP and called him to visit them before and he is not very helpful - he thinks their problems are "social" and, to be fair, the last time I asked him to visit them my Dad got out of the bed, was sitting dressed and told the GP I was just making a fuss...! My sister and I are at our wits end. It is impossible to know what is actually going on with them and to try to pick through the confabulation / confusion and odd behaviour of both parents. I will be visiting them this weekend but any ideas how to deal with this ???
My mum does the same thing, complains endlessly about how much her knees hurt and she cant move them but if we call a doctor she always tell them shes fine, she lifts her knees and walk much better than wen its just us!!. I think the doc etc uunderstand this but it does infuriate me and makes me feel daft!. All i can say is just keep plugging away until people listen. Hope that helps?? X
 

Jellybean8

Registered User
Jan 12, 2015
11
Glasgow
Thanks - will keep trying.

My mum does the same thing, complains endlessly about how much her knees hurt and she cant move them but if we call a doctor she always tell them shes fine, she lifts her knees and walk much better than wen its just us!!. I think the doc etc uunderstand this but it does infuriate me and makes me feel daft!. All i can say is just keep plugging away until people listen. Hope that helps?? X