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Frustrated and angry (with the system!)

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Bfd/Paul, Jan 21, 2016.

  1. Bfd/Paul

    Bfd/Paul Registered User

    Dec 16, 2015
    10
    Hi all,

    Long story short, mum had UTI for 2 weeks lost walking and a pressure sore was found on her left heel. Virtual Ward(nurses from local Hospital) got brought in at mums, take blood etc. They said she needed assessent for her mobility at local council care home for approx 5 days.
    We were told a Safeguard alert was placed on mum for bruises on her legs, unsafe handling of mum, me threatening to burst blister on mums sore and me turning away a Air Pressure Mattress. Met with mums new Social Worker to listen to these ridiculous claims, nowt on paper just these allegations on a A4 pad. Refuted all" charges" as it were.
    She rung to say all explanitions were accepted but no apology or nowt.
    Mums in the home still nearly 6 weeks later! As been hoisted everywhere, pressure sore all but gone but still hoisted and in a chair.
    No comode hoist for mum for 3 weeks and toileted on her bed!!!
    We took her home (me and Grandson who lives with her) for 8 hours last Sunday, she stood up from chair and shuffled to comode with us either side for support and weight beared and a BM for good measure!
    Just met with SW today with Sam and the Care Assessment was ridiculous, was told she could not weight bear (she did the day she went in 6 weeks ago), was Doubly Incontinent, was never before her stay at this Home, is immobile needs hoisting every where again could walk before her UTI and this home.
    In nearly 6 weeks she has lost her smile and looks fearful and crys when we leave.
    Asked the SW if we could take her home Sat/Sun, until we said we had no hoist, but ok to keep her all day with no hoist but no over night. Logic?
    And now says she needs 24 assistance at night and toileting every 2 hours and we could not do it or afford it
    As been Urine incontinent for 2/3 years but some mornings dry as a bone, pads have allways sufficed.
    Feel like the stay in the Home as just sent her in a spiral and all their actions have prempted her decline and resulting problems.Just want to take her out and settle back home. Feel trapped and powerless.

    Sorry for the essay but feel like exploding:mad:

    Regards Paul
     
  2. Sue J

    Sue J Registered User

    Dec 9, 2009
    8,035
    Sorry to read your story of your Mum's 'care' Paul. I understand completely your utter frustration but the sense of powerlessness is worse and I know that too. I had experience over 10 years ago of something very similar to what you describe with a 90 year old friend, broke my heart.

    I hope you are able to reach some satisfactory outcome and most that you can get her home if at all feasible.

    Best wishes
    Sue:)
     
  3. Bfd/Paul

    Bfd/Paul Registered User

    Dec 16, 2015
    10
    Thanks Sue J, will take it right to the end. Reread my post and thought what would my late father have done? Take it right to the end!! Will keep you updated.

    Regards Paul
     

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