From Sinking to Drowning

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by alex, Jun 11, 2006.

  1. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    1,665
    Hi everyone

    Sorry i have not been in touch for a while, just feeling ................................... don't really know how i'm feeling, except very exhausted.

    My last thread was about "The Pathway" which the doctors want to put Ray on, but i always believed that he had fought so hard that i could not take his fight away from him and i know him well enough to know that he would let go when he was ready, however, i received a phone call at 11am yesterday from the doctors at the hospital to say that Ray had deteriorated quite rapidly and i should get there as quick as i could.
    Needless to say, i weaved through city centre traffic, i'm still not sure how i got there, but i did.

    He could not breathe and was very distressed.

    The consultant came to his bedside and asked if he could have a word, he said that his lungs were failing as well as other organs (due to the pneumonia) and that they were going to make him comfortable.

    As things stand, they have stopped his food and stopped all antibiotics. I suppose this is the "Pathway"!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I have held his hand since 11am yesterday (apart from nipping home for 10 minutes to get some clothes) and all i can do is wait for him to die!
    Will he drown from the fluid in his lungs? Will he starve to death? How long will it take? I don't know, all i know is that he won't know much about it! I'm the only one who will know much about it.

    Why is this is such i sh***y life.

    He is still unconscious but clinging on, i'm just about to go back and spend another night waiting for him to die.

    Thanks for listening
    From a very sad Alex
     
  2. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    1,656
    Sheffield
    Oh Alex,
    I'm so very sorry for you
    Hang in there
    Love
    Wendy
    x
     
  3. Kriss

    Kriss Registered User

    May 20, 2004
    513
    Shropshire
    I am sure you are right and he will let go when he is ready. Stay strong Alex, you have been to hell this week but you will be coming back soon.

    love
    Kriss x
     
  4. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    3,453
    It won't be long Alex - you have done brilliantly. You have been so strong for Ray.
    Sending love and hugs.
    Helen
     
  5. PatH

    PatH Registered User

    Feb 14, 2005
    301
    N.Ireland
    Alex,
    Thinking of you both.
    Pat
     
  6. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    So Sorry to hear what is happening to Ray xx
     
  7. Áine

    Áine Registered User

    Take care Alex. At least you can know that you've been there for Ray and done everything you possibly can.

    hugs

    Áine
     
  8. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    5,379
    NW England
    If you weren't both physically and emotionally exhausted it would be of even more concern. Alex, what you have been going through and how you appear to be coping with it - even though you may sometimes feel you are not - is amazing.
    (What's 'coping' anyway?)

    Just because you obviously don't have the chance to post here so often doesn't mean you and Ray are forgotten. The support may be 'virtual' - the thoughts and prayers are not.

    With love, Karen (TF)
     
  9. dmc

    dmc Registered User

    Mar 13, 2006
    1,157
    hi alex

    ive been touched by your courage and determination through this awfull time my thoughts and prayers are with you both
    take care x
     
  10. DickG

    DickG Registered User

    Feb 26, 2006
    558
    Stow-on-the-Wold
    Hi Alex

    What can I say? You have my thoughts and prayers.

    Hugs

    Dick
     
  11. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    Just pop in wondeing
     
  12. Kayla

    Kayla Registered User

    May 14, 2006
    621
    Kent
    Dear Alex,
    I've been thinking of you both and I wish there was something practical I could do to help you.
    With best wishes
    Kayla
     
  13. Nutty Nan

    Nutty Nan Registered User

    Nov 2, 2003
    785
    Buckinghamshire
    God bless you, Alex and Ray!
    You are both so amazingly tough, and I do hope you will have someone to lean on when eventually you don't have to be Ray's Rock any longer. Wish we could all really be there for you.
     

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