Hi...
This is my first post on here ...
My mum was diagnosed over a year ago with mixed dementia and Alzheimer's , my dad for the past year has been caring for her, seeing to all the house chores etc . Six weeks ago my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer and is currently too unwell to do anything. For the last 6 weeks I have been living with them and coming home once or twice a week.
My mum has been helping wash my dad as he can no longer really do this himself. We do ha e services involved to help. But ...I organised a care giver to come and help out with washing and dressing, my mum who has Alzheimer's totally agreed with this , then when it came to it my mum had forgotten despite lots of reminders and got very upset that this happening. She blames me for going behind their backs etc and says all their independence has been taken away. An hour later after this outburst ( she did get nasty ) she had forgotten and ok with it all.
My mother has been very happy and is always cheerful and singing etc but with all the upset and confusion with my dad she has become depressed, upset and nasty to me.
I reached boiling point yesterday as she was not being very nice and I exploded...I should have walked away but instead I ended up upsetting her and myself even more. Luckily a few hours later she had seemed to forget about it. Up shot is I have come home for a few days for my own sanity.. But now today she does not want to say hello on the phone or talk to me. I think maybe because the care giver came to help this morning and my mum holds me responsible for the intrusion.
Has anyone had experience of the person / family member previously being really happy then suddenly becoming nasty ...I know it is all to do with my dad and the situation is dire, but looking after them now is breaking me ... I'm about to seek help and see if I can get councilling etc. Any advice on how to handle my mum would be great as I'm due to go back to their house tomorrow.
This is my first post on here ...
My mum was diagnosed over a year ago with mixed dementia and Alzheimer's , my dad for the past year has been caring for her, seeing to all the house chores etc . Six weeks ago my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer and is currently too unwell to do anything. For the last 6 weeks I have been living with them and coming home once or twice a week.
My mum has been helping wash my dad as he can no longer really do this himself. We do ha e services involved to help. But ...I organised a care giver to come and help out with washing and dressing, my mum who has Alzheimer's totally agreed with this , then when it came to it my mum had forgotten despite lots of reminders and got very upset that this happening. She blames me for going behind their backs etc and says all their independence has been taken away. An hour later after this outburst ( she did get nasty ) she had forgotten and ok with it all.
My mother has been very happy and is always cheerful and singing etc but with all the upset and confusion with my dad she has become depressed, upset and nasty to me.
I reached boiling point yesterday as she was not being very nice and I exploded...I should have walked away but instead I ended up upsetting her and myself even more. Luckily a few hours later she had seemed to forget about it. Up shot is I have come home for a few days for my own sanity.. But now today she does not want to say hello on the phone or talk to me. I think maybe because the care giver came to help this morning and my mum holds me responsible for the intrusion.
Has anyone had experience of the person / family member previously being really happy then suddenly becoming nasty ...I know it is all to do with my dad and the situation is dire, but looking after them now is breaking me ... I'm about to seek help and see if I can get councilling etc. Any advice on how to handle my mum would be great as I'm due to go back to their house tomorrow.
