1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    5,726
    North Somerset
    #1 truth24, Nov 7, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2015
    Just starting a new thread here as we seem to be enterIng another stage in Fred's life. 3 weeks ago he had a flu injection which resulted in another chest Infection and I believe a sinus Infection too, although he couldn't tell us but the signs were there and he aIways suffered badly with them. Since that time he has reverted to not wanting me near. Although talking to his carers and 'baby' I am totally rejected. T, his lovely team leader, tells me that this last infection has really knocked him for six and that he will recover in time, but will he? His speech is so much worse and, although I understand, his renewed rejection after so many months of lovely visits, is hurtful and I'm in bit of a bad place again. Sorry to whInge but that's why I'm not postIng so often. Am off on a week's holiday with a widowed friend next week so really have to brighten myself up as I don't want to spoil it for her with my worry about my loved one. Can I have a hug please. Thanks for listening. Xx
     
  2. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,222
    Merseyside
    Oh Verity I'm so sorry things have changed.
    You can have lots of love & hugs from me & hope that things flip back again xx
     
  3. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,595
    Female
    Dundee
    Oh Verity you are certainly not having a whinge. It must be very sad and hurtful for you, now wonder you feel as you do. No matter how much we understand that this is the disease, not the person, it does hurt deep down.

    I do hope that you and your friend have a good holiday. I'm sure you will be a great support to each other. x
     
  4. bemused1

    bemused1 Registered User

    Mar 4, 2012
    3,403
    Loads of hugs for you verity. Hope your break will help cheer you up. I feel your friend will understand things are hard. Dreaded infections wreak havoc
     
  5. Saffie

    Saffie Registered User

    Mar 26, 2011
    22,497
    Female
    Near Southampton
    Heres a big hug from me.
    I hope that you enjhoy your break and that when you return Fred is delighted to see you again. xxx
     

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  6. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    3,072
    Devon
    Verity, I'm so very sorry to hear about this downturn. It's having to grieve for your loss all over again. Not whingeing, just sharing with people who understand. Sending you loads of love and a huge (((((hug))))).
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  7. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,594
    Kent
    I`m not surprised you’re feeling miserable Verity. These downturns are depressing and when you feel you have lost connection, its even more so.

    I still get moods on TP when I find myself unable to post as positively as I would wish, or am unable to connect with the feelings of others as my own take priority.

    It`s good to have somewhere to come to offload though. We can`t be expected to be Little Miss Sunshine all the time.

    I do hope when Fred recovers from his infection he will once again know you as the person he loves.
     
  8. Scarlett123

    Scarlett123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2013
    3,802
    Essex
    I'm so sorry to read of this latest situation, in the twists and turns that is Alzheimer's. Let's hope that Fred rallies round, that you have a lovely holiday, and that when you return, Fred will be pleased to see you.
     
  9. sleepless

    sleepless Registered User

    Feb 19, 2010
    3,232
    Female
    The Sweet North
    I'd like to echo what Scarlett says, and just add that I hope you can relax on your holiday and really make the most of it. You know Fred is well cared for, and he will be improving from the infections day by day. xx
     
  10. chick1962

    chick1962 Registered User

    Apr 3, 2014
    11,280
    Female
    near Folkestone
    Oh Verity my heart goes out to you . It must hurt and make you sad , even though it's the illness talking . Do have a lovely time with your friend and hopefully Fred will be happy to see you again . Sending the biggest hug I can find topped with lots of love xxxxxxx


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  11. disi

    disi Registered User

    Oh Verity, I am so sorry to read how things have changed for you. We al know its not Fred talking but this horrible disease, still not easy to come to terms with. I am sending you much love and a huge hug and hope you and your friend give comfort to each next week. xxxxxxxx
     
  12. Lilac Blossom

    Lilac Blossom Registered User

    Oct 6, 2014
    520
    Scotland
    Hope you have a nice holiday with your friend Verity and that Fred will be pleased to see you on your return. Sending hugs xx
     
  13. Loopiloo

    Loopiloo Registered User

    May 10, 2010
    6,119
    Female
    Scotland
    Oh Verity, I feel so sad for you, and yes it does hurt. But it can all change and change again and hopefully Fred will bounce back once this infection has cleared. Henry has often surprised me.

    Enjoy your holiday with your friend and make the most of it.

    A huge warm hug for you, my dear. Thinking of you.



    With love Loo xxx
     
  14. LYN T

    LYN T Registered User

    Aug 30, 2012
    6,968
    Brixham Devon
    Verity, I'm so sorry to read that Fred has had a downturn; it could be the infection. Pete was always 'different' when he had an infection but for quite some time he bounced back. I do hope you enjoy your holiday with your friend. You deserve a break.

    Much love

    Lyn T XX
     
  15. thebes

    thebes Registered User

    Feb 10, 2014
    163
    London
    Lots and lots of hugs from here, too. We all know in our heads that it is the AZ and the impact of infection that is behind these changes, it just doesn't stop it hurting and breaking our hearts again when thing suddenly turn negative.
    I hope with all the others who have posted that our cyber hugs help your sore heart, that Fred returns to the lovely chap we have enjoyed seeing photos of, and that you get away and enjoy that break, xxxxxxx
     
  16. Casbow

    Casbow Registered User

    Sep 3, 2013
    994
    Colchester
    truth24

    A big hug from me and a big wish that you enjoy your break and Fred is better when you come home. This illness is so painful when the person we love and support turns on us. Good luckxxxx
     
  17. Jinx

    Jinx Registered User

    Mar 13, 2014
    2,333
    Pontypool
    Huge hug from me too, infections have such disastrous effects, hopefully Fred will recover some of his previous good humour and be pleased to see you, but if not then it's only the wretched disease to blame. Enjoy your holiday, you deserve a break (((((((((xxx)))))))))


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  18. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    I don't know you, but I hope you will accept a (((hug))) from me too. It must be so much harder to bear this downturn when your Fred had been loving again recently. Here's hoping that you are able to have a lovely holiday and return to find Fred is his old, loving self again.
     
  19. truth24

    truth24 Registered User

    Oct 13, 2013
    5,726
    North Somerset
    Thank you all for your hugs and good wishes. As you say, hopefully when I visit after the holiday he might be happy to see me again. Xx
     
  20. polly1

    polly1 Registered User

    Dec 8, 2011
    306
    Hampshire
    I don't know you either but felt compelled to send you a virtual hug.
    So sorry to hear about your loved one, Fred. What is it about this year's flu jab? I have heard of several people having severe adverse reactions. I wonder if it is because so many people succumbed to the flu last year, despite having the vaccine. Do try and enjoy your holiday.
     

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