found a lovely care home

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by thompsonsom, Jun 1, 2005.

  1. thompsonsom

    thompsonsom Registered User

    Jul 4, 2004
    97
    halifax
    Hi all

    Been away on holiday for 2 weeks and has was not happy with care home m/in/law stayed in last year found another home for respite some 12 miles away.
    The manageress of the home is a lovely person who fully understands the pressures of caring for a relative with dementia as she cared for her dad, living with her for 3 years with the illness. The home came highly reccomended from people who see what goes on in care homes that we don't see.
    We went to collect m/in/law on saturday and she refused to come home with us she had enjoyed herself so much there, as there had been a misunderstanding with the collection day it was agreed that she would remain there till monday and we were invited to lunch on the monday to give the staff time to prepare m/in/law for coming home, when we arrived monday staff said m/in/law was still adamant she wasn't coming home with us as she lived there and it was her home. This proved to us that the home was really good as previously at the other home she couldn't wait to leave. She did leave quietly with us after lunch but we have now come to the decision that a permanent place once available would be beneficial to m/in/law as we are not always able to give her the stimulation and stability she now needs. It pleased us so much that she wanted to stay as we now know that when a place becomes available we will not feel like we are dumping her just because we have had enough. The home has a long waiting list but is building new rooms to be finished next year. Whilst we would have liked to have cared for m/in/law till the end it has been a strain for the last 16 months and we now feel that this home will be the best place where we can be happy that she will be happy.
    Incidently, the last home she was in is now under investigation for neglect so it pays to go with your own instincts when looking for a good care home.

    Jan
     
  2. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    12,413
    near London
    Good news!

    It is so good to hear stories of homes that are good ones, rather than the more usual scare stories.

    When the assessment unit said Jan was to go to her present care home, they told me there was a waiting list. Within a month there was a place for her, so what with people on the list finding other homes, priorities shuffling, unfortunate deaths of people already living there, it is not always the case that a long time waiting is needed.

    Best wishes
     
  3. Sheila

    Sheila Registered User

    Oct 23, 2003
    2,259
    West Sussex
    So pleased to hear a positive side to the homes story, it will help many of us facing this issue. It also goes to show that there are homes out there that really do care. Love She. XX :)
     
  4. jules

    jules Registered User

    Glad to hear you have found the right home, its so good to hear of places that really care and understand Alzheimers. My mum recently went into respite care for the first time last week and my dad and I were really worried how she would react but were surprised how she settled. In fact when she came home she was quite depressed for a few days as I think she missed all the company around her as she was a very sociable person years ago. She has settled now back into her usual routine and now sleeps better since returning from the home!
     
  5. thompsonsom

    thompsonsom Registered User

    Jul 4, 2004
    97
    halifax
    Hi Jules

    Yes it is nice to know there are some decent caring nursing homes around, just difficult to find and then difficult to get a place.
    Wish I could say same about m/in/law settling down after being in respite but she hasn't and we have so far had an hard week of it, she is back to getting up in the middle of the night and getting dressed and then trying to go to bed at 5.30pm. I don't know if it is due to the unsettlement or the fact that the mental health doctor took her off 1 of her tablets not long before we went away and we are now seeing the result of this, before we had a nice comfy run of things with her enjoying daycare and retiring and getting up at reasonable times. We are due to see the doctor soon so we will see what he has to say about it. I was opposed to changing her tablets in any way as things were so settled but his reasoning was that how do you know you need them if you don't take them away, alright for him he doesn't have to live with it. As it is we are going through a stressful time with husband out of work due to last job coming to an end.
    Life of a carer is never straighforward is it?
     

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