Forget my name

[smartieplum]

How does one deal with this? Mum kept calling me by my sister's name today and yesterday she forgot who I was. And my sister doesn't even bother about her! It's totally heartbreaking. Also, I'm just having a totally "scunnered" time just now. This stinking disease is totally dominating my life. Anyone else really resent this. I do, and then feel terrible for feeling that!

 

[Shedrech]

oh my smartieplum
what would we do without TP to come to, to just let rip
my guess is you dealt with it with compassion and a smile, just so your mum didn't feel bad
so tough on you
it's that old syndrome = the other one is always thought of, yet you're the one who's always there
resent it; yes - but then sigh heavily, punch a pillow and start anew tomorrow

love the 'scunnered' - may just have to steal that

 

[Kevinl]

"scunnered" never heard that before in my life, you learn something new every day
I've just got back from visiting my wife and as become the norm these days she calls my by her older brother's name even though she hasn't seem him in years.
Personally I don't let it bother me, at least she can still recognise my face and that I'm someone she's happy to see but I have seen how badly some of the other visitors take it when they're either not recognised, remembered or called the wrong name, I have seen many people in tears over it.
I resent every aspect of AZ and it's one hell of a long list, but I just can't let it get to me, I can't do a thing to change the situation so I just have to accept it and somehow except in particularly dark moments I do.
K

 

[smartieplum]

Scunnered is a great Scottish word. Better than saying fed up. And I am indeed totally scunnered!

 

[tryingmybest]

ahhh bless you. I know exactly what you mean. My Mum doesn't know my name but knows I'm her daughter. She too knows my sisters name yet she has been absolutely unbelievable in what she had done to Mum and I. Stealing Mums money, taking her to court, not having contact for years etc etc. Devastating. Hugs to you. Xx

 

[irismary]

Its hard isn't it. My husband knows I'm his wife but doesn't seem to know my name most of the time. It used to upset me but not any more - its just this spiteful disease. Best wishes xx

 

[canary]

Its hard the first time it happens isnt it? No wonder youre scunnered!

Ive been mums daughter, her mother (or perhaps an aunt!), her sister, a friend .... and sometimes she has no idea who I am
I usually say as when I first arrive "hello mum, its your daughter canary here" and I think it helps, although she does forget again. She always knows my face, though, even if she cant remember my name or exactly how Im related.

 

[Debbs3006]

This awful disease DOES dominate your life, but I'm learning that its ok to feel resentful sometimes, so please don't feel guilty for feeing like that. We're all human after all and can't always do what the books, websites and well meaning professionals tell us we should do for people with dementia, especially when that person is your relative and you're having a really bad time . I am a health care professional myself but its NOT the same when the person is someone you care about and we shouldn't feel terrible if we need to sound off occasionally. Having just joined TP I'm finding it a great support for that

And you're not alone in having your name forgotten. I've also been called by my daughters name and was told to stop confusing her when I corrected her!! . Interestingly, both myself and my sister get called my other sisters name ,who also does very little. Its frustrating but you just have to go with it and like you say, remember its just this stinking disease!

 

[smartieplum]

Thanks to you all. Feeling a bit less scunnered

 

[Louby65]

Oh how I love that word ' scunnered'

 

[Louby65]

Sorry that sent before I had finished the sentence . I was just about to add that my mum sometimes forgets my name but I give her a hint at times by saying it begins with an L and 9 times out of ten she says my name . It's amazing how her saying my name without being prompted can make my heart smile ! Best wishes , Lou

 

[Kevinl]

Thanks to you all. Feeling a bit less scunnered

I'm glad we've all been able to help descunnerfy a bit
K