Forget me not

[Haverton]

Hi everyone. I sometimes think that those who have an influence on our lives, doctors, carers etc often see us as what we are today. They somehow do not consider what we were and what we still can do.

I have been so fortunate to experience many wonderful things and activities during my life and i am so grateful for this. I just want to express such things with my friends on here which you might identify with. I also hope our cares pick up our threads.

Did they not know that I had a high powered job in industry?

Did they not know that i trained as a counsellor and worked in the community with those who had problems with addiction?

Did they not know that I was a musician and performed in venues throughout the Uk and Europe?

Did they not know that I went to university in my fifties?

Did they not know that i met then married wonderful lady?

Did they not know that I am a stepfather to a smashing young man?

Did they not know that I am a grandfather to a beautiful little girl?

I think i have said enough. I really hope this thread douse not sound that i am boasting. I would not have accomplished much of what i have done without individual and collective efforts of others
Thank you.
Take care

 

[Agzy]

Hi everyone. I sometimes think that those who have an influence on our lives, doctors, carers etc often see us as what we are today. They somehow do not consider what we were and what we still can do.

I have been so fortunate to experience many wonderful things and activities during my life and i am so grateful for this. I just want to express such things with my friends on here which you might identify with. I also hope our cares pick up our threads.

Did they not know that I had a high powered job in industry?

Did they not know that i trained as a counsellor and worked in the community with those who had problems with addiction?

Did they not know that I was a musician and performed in venues throughout the Uk and Europe?

Did they not know that I went to university in my fifties?

Did they not know that i met then married wonderful lady?

Did they not know that I am a stepfather to a smashing young man?

Did they not know that I am a grandfather to a beautiful little girl?

I think i have said enough. I really hope this thread douse not sound that i am boasting. I would not have accomplished much of what i have done without individual and collective efforts of others
Thank you.
Take care

With you all the way on this Haverton. All many see is the 'silly',' 'doddering," 'old age pensioner.' Very few think things through or are even interested in the person behind the illness but wil want to know, "why me?" If it happens to them. We are all real people and don't let them forget it.

 

[Grannie G]

Hello Haverton

My first observation of residents , when entering a care home for the first time , was the acknowledgement they were all parents, grandparents, respected family members who had held responsible jobs and had been pillars of the community.

I felt so sad for them.

 

[mab]

There's a beautiful old poem, used to be displayed in some care homes... 'What do you see nurse, what do you see?'
I don't know how to post the link... maybe someone else can help?

 

[nitram]

>>>HERE<<< you are.

 

[jimbo 111]

A Crappit Old Woman

I was given this poem many , many years ago
Well before old age caught up with me
Now it holds a certain resonance in my dotage
jimbo

"Look Closer Nurse"

recently told me about a poem that was well known in the health and soc The poem titled "A Crabbit Old Woman" or also know as "Look Closer Nurse" was apparently written by an elderly lady residing in a hospital in Dundee and only discovered after the lady died and a member of staff gathered together her personal possessions from her room.
In the poem the lady expresses how she feels and how she believes she is perceived by others, basically a nonentity. It is a sad reflection and an uncomfortable read. The poem made a huge impact on the member of staff and she wanted to share it with others so it was typed up and circulated to every nurse in the hospital. The poem also had a big impact on me so I decided to do a bit of research as to who wrote it and to see if I could find out any more about her and her life.
What I found was a bit of a surprise. The poem was in fact written by a nurse, Phyllis McCormack in 1966 and not by "A Crabbit Old Woman". According to her son the poem was only intended for the hospital newsletter, she submitted it anonymously with the title "Look Closer Nurse". I am not sure what impact Phyllis expected the poem to have but I am sure she could never have imagined what happened, the poem took on a life of its own. To the extent that it has not only become a legend within health and social care circles but it has also, over the years, found itself on the English curriculum for students and become a topic of discussion online, drawing comparisons with other literary works.
I don't suppose we will ever know the author's intention or indeed if Phyllis was the author. But one thing is for sure, it highlights the importance of maintaining the dignity of the lives of the elderly, not just as patients in a hospital, but for all older people and for that alone it deserves to continue to be shared for the next 50 years.

"Look Closer Nurse"

What do you see nurse, what do you see
Are you thinking when you're looking at me
A crabbbit old woman not very wise
Uncertain of habit, with faraway eyes
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply
When you say in a loud voice, "I do wish you'd try"
Who seems not to notice the things that you do
And forever is losing a stocking or shoe
Who, resisting or not, lets you do as you will
With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill
Is that what you're thinking, is that what you see
Then open your eyes nurse, for you're looking at me

I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still
As I use at you biddings, as I eat at your will
I am a small child of ten with a father and mother
Brothers and sisters who love one another
A young girlnof sixteen, with wings on my feet
Dreaming of soon her lover will meet
A bride soon at twenty my heart gives a leap
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep
At twenty five now I have young of my own
A woman of thirty, my young growing fast
Bound to each other with ties that will last
At forty my young sons will now grow and be gone
At fifty, once more babies play around my knee
Again we know children my loved one and me

Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead
I look to the future, I shudder with dread
For my young are all busy, rearing young of their own
And I think of the years, and the love I have known
I'm now an old woman and nature is cruel
Tis her jest to make old age look like a feel
The body, it crumbles, grace and vigour depart
There isnow a stone where I once had a heart
But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells
And now and again my battered heart swells
I remember the joys, I remember the pain
And I'm loving and living life all over again
I think of the years all too few - gone, so fast
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last
So, open your eyes nurse, open and see
Not a crabbit old woman, look closer, see ME

 

[nae sporran]

I always tell nurses, social workers and anyone else that my lovely C was the best wedding photographer in Bristol. Ok, it was only an award for one year in the local paper, but this disease can take memories but not who you are and what you have achieved, Haverton.

 

[Agzy]

Although addressed to nurses this wonderful poem should be shared and read by people from all walks of life and age group as it must surely touch a nerve in everyone's life. Wonderful poem indeed.

 

[mab]

Thanks Nitram

 

[Jeanie 73]

Hi everyone. I sometimes think that those who have an influence on our lives, doctors, carers etc often see us as what we are today. They somehow do not consider what we were and what we still can do.

I have been so fortunate to experience many wonderful things and activities during my life and i am so grateful for this. I just want to express such things with my friends on here which you might identify with. I also hope our cares pick up our threads.

Did they not know that I had a high powered job in industry?

Did they not know that i trained as a counsellor and worked in the community with those who had problems with addiction?

Did they not know that I was a musician and performed in venues throughout the Uk and Europe?

Did they not know that I went to university in my fifties?

Did they not know that i met then married wonderful lady?

Did they not know that I am a stepfather to a smashing young man?

Did they not know that I am a grandfather to a beautiful little girl?

I think i have said enough. I really hope this thread douse not sound that i am boasting. I would not have accomplished much of what i have done without individual and collective efforts of others
Thank you.
Take care

Very well said Haverton and it is so easy for us to also forget what we have achieved over the previous years.
Perhaps we should all give ourselves a huge pat on the back❤️

 

[Haverton]

Thanks for your posts. My post has had mixed responses. I take on board what has been said. It's seems that I have courted controversy and as such I must be prepared to receive some flak. If it is" too hot in the Kitchen"...... comes to mind Some of them have alluded to vanity and arrogance on my behalf I am sorry that it has come across in this manner. Perhaps I need to consider the tone of my post (and any future posts) To this end i will "take time out" to bring this to fruition.

Take Care.

 

[Jeanie 73]

Thanks for your posts. My post has had mixed responses. I take on board what has been said. It's seems that I have courted controversy and as such I must be prepared to receive some flak. If it is" too hot in the Kitchen"...... comes to mind Some of them have alluded to vanity and arrogance on my behalf I am sorry that it has come across in this manner. Perhaps I need to consider the tone of my post (and any future posts) To this end i will "take time out" to bring this to fruition.

Take Care.

I don't see any of that reflected in the posts above Haverton and non in your original post that alludes to vanity nor arrogance.❤️