Forced to continue care by family

Jessbow

Registered User
Mar 1, 2013
5,660
0
Midlands
Call his bluff, agree to more care.
24 hour care, 7 days a week

get a package researched and send it to him
in addition the that you need to add on cost of gas, electic and water, house and contents insurance, food and drink for Mum AND Carer ( and anything else you can think of :) )
 

Lawson58

Registered User
Aug 1, 2014
4,302
0
Victoria, Australia
Another idea, inform your brother you are going on holiday and won’t hear of your mother going into short term respite care with strangers. The only option you will accept is either full time care home or she lives with your brother while you are “away” for 3 weeks+.

He will soon see how hard it is.
And then refuse to have her back. Leave him holding the baby (your mum) so to speak.
 

Duggies-girl

Registered User
Sep 6, 2017
3,618
0
Your families welfare comes first, you have two young people who can no longer bear to live with her and it is affecting their health and yours. Your daughter is vulnerable and must come first. Your brother is a bully and will not change so it is up to you.

You have been told that your mother should be in a home so just arrange it, if your brother wants her out then he can go and get her. Call his bluff and let him threaten whatever he wants to. As POA you both have to act in her best interest but nowhere does it say that you have to live with her or be her carer.
 

Cazcaz

Registered User
Apr 3, 2021
338
0
Another option Might be that if she has other medical concerns, see if you can get her admitted to hospital. Then just say you cant have her back at home. Given your own situation no medical professional would (and none CAN) force you to take her back. Your brother is then powerless to force you. It’s your home nowhere in any POA document does it force the attorney to house the PWD.

She would then either live with your brother (not for long I imagine) or go straight into full time care.

You need to put YOUR family and yourself first. Never mind anyone else (eg your brother).
 

Jaded'n'faded

Registered User
Jan 23, 2019
5,248
0
High Peak
Yes, I have a POA for health and finance. My brother has dealt with the finance side and has copies of POAs with his solicitor - I don't have a copy. He has threatened court action if I do not agree with additional dom visits as he argues I am not following my attorney duties for POA.
As you don't have a copy, can you get one? Are you sure the PoA is worded as just 'jointly' rather than 'jointly and severally'? (I didn't know the distinction with mum's - I just assumed as my brother and I were both appointed, it would be jointly.... it wasn't!)

If 'jointly', you both have to agree to any decisions, both have to sign cheques, etc. But if your brother has been doing all the finances by himself without involvement from you, i.e. you giving permission for everything he does, it would suggest your PoA is actually 'jointly and severally'. I guess he's not going to tell you this so it would be best for you to find out!

Either way, he cannot insist your mum stays with you, any more than you can insist she stays with him.
 

Firecatcher

Registered User
Jan 6, 2020
574
0
I believe in most cases where there is more than one person who has POA the document is usually worded jointly and severally. This is so if a decision needs to be made quickly one person can act without long delays. You should have a copy of the document as copies are sent to all named attorneys. As others have said you cannot be forced to care for your Mum even if she had some equity in your house. It sounds a horrific situation and you need to put yourself first.
 

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