Forced into Care home ?

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Talking Point' started by Helpme123, Jul 6, 2018.

  1. Helpme123

    Helpme123 New member

    Jul 6, 2018
    Please help me. Dad is in hospital, has been for the last week. Medically fit but being held because they have decided it’s best that he goes into a ‘secure unit’. I believe a SW is currently finding this ‘secure unit’, where he will stay as a trial for 6 weeks. I feel as though once he’s in, he won’t be coming back out. He eats, washes and self medicates with light support from family members and doesn’t fall etc. He was brought home by police last week for going back to his old home and police were called by family as he was ‘missing’ for 8 hours. This is the first time. He has dementia but has capacity at the minute. We haven’t been told otherwise.

    Can he really be forced into a home? I don’t feel as though he’s that bad at the minute to be forced into a home.
    Does anyone know where we stand as a family with refusing the home?
  2. karaokePete

    karaokePete Volunteer Host

    Jul 23, 2017
  3. Duggies-girl

    Duggies-girl Registered User

    Sep 6, 2017
    Sorry but I really don't know the answer to this, but I do know that my dad got lost about a year ago and he was returned home after a series of phone calls that finally found out who he was. I was out for the day and my husband went and collected dad and took him home. No SW's were involved with this which may make a difference. Your dad sounds like he was at the same stage as my dad ie coping with most things but needing a bit of help with other things.

    Since then I have taken care of dad with no outside interference or help either and it has worked out fine for him. He is still living alone with help from me.

    I certainly do not think that my dad was bad enough to need a care home at the time and after almost a year I think I can say I was correct with this asumption.

    I don't know where you stand but I do know that my dad was fine once he was returned to his home and I stepped in to help him. I am sorry that I cannot give you more help as I have no experience of social workers.

    You have my best wishes and I hope that you can get your dad back as soon as possible. I would have been most upset if my dad was taken away when I am willing to care for him.
  4. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    I'm wondering if the key here is "light support" from family members. If you want to keep him in his home, you may well have to step up that support. Note I'm not saying you have to: no one can be forced to care for another adult. But someone has to protect him, and in the final analysis social services have a legal duty of care towards a vulnerable adult.
  5. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Jennifer may have a point here re light family support.

    My husband went missing a couple of times but only for 2-3 hours and he had 24/7 support from me.

    My mother went missing for similar periods and because she was living alone, with morning, evening and weekend support from me she was considered at risk. She was still walking, talking, dressing and undressing herself and making drinks and snacks for herself too.
  6. Helpme123

    Helpme123 New member

    Jul 6, 2018
    Thank you. @karaokePete you were right. I’ve gone to the hospital today and a dol is in place and has been for the last week and a half but no one bothered to tell the family. So he’s being held there until he is put in a home. Where’s the consultation with family? The wishes of the patient? No one has asked him if that’s where he wants to go, and he does not!!
    This is madness. It’s like he’s a prisoner.
  7. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    I understand your feelings, @Helpme123, but I suppose Social Services (apart from maybe covering themselves) have to take into account your dad's safety. Being missing for eight hours in Summertime is one thing, although there are still grave risks. He could have become dehydrated, suffered sun stroke, heat stroke, etc. But what if he had gone missing at night? During the Winter? It could have been a very different story. people with dementia who were thought to be fine to be living alone, and even fine to go out for walks by themselves, have died because they got lost and disoriented and sadly, were not found in time.
  8. stanleypj

    stanleypj Registered User

    Dec 8, 2011
    North West
    I think, at the very least, Social Services should have discussed all this with your family. You would be perfectly justified in asking them to do so, even at this stage.
  9. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    A DOLS is something very routinely being put on people who have lost capacity - without it the hospital would have no right to keep him, which is why this is done almost automatically. This also means they are of the opinion that he has lost capacity, and his wishes do not have to be considered. What has to be considered is his best interest, and it has to be said that people with dementia do not often know what's in their best interest anymore. No one would ever say they want to go into a home, so that is not a benchmark, I'm afraid. Also, social services do not usually get involved if there are family members wanting to look after someone, but he seems to live alone and has placed himself at considerable risk by wandering. If you don't want him in a home, you'd have to step up your support considerably. Social services have duty of care and must keep him safe. If the only option is a care home or other secure unit, they will have to do it.
    So try to speak to them, as they should keep you informed.

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