For carers worrying about their own memory

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by brambles, Mar 11, 2016.

  1. brambles

    brambles Registered User

    Sep 22, 2014
    229
    Female
    NW England
    Ever since my I have been caring for my mum I have felt my own memory getting worse and worse.....I guess I am not alone in this and it understandably occasionally causes me some worry.

    Yesterday someone was telling me , that, apparently the explanation for new mums getting forgetful and scatty is that they have another person who is totally dependant on them to take care of and this becomes so overwhelming that it is difficult for their own memory to function properly as well.

    Of course I have no idea if this is true, but it made me think, because , even though my mum doesn't live with me, she is constantly in my thoughts and I spend a lot of time worrying about her in the same way a new mum thinks of little else except her new baby.

    Anyway, it made me feel better that maybe this forgetfulness is down to circumstance and temporary, so thought I would share it.

    brambles
     
  2. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,790
    Female
    Scotland
    Sounds credible. Stress and anxiety wreak havoc with your emotions and mental well being. We need lots more support for carers so that they can care without wrecking their own health.
     
  3. Linbrusco

    Linbrusco Registered User

    Mar 4, 2013
    1,573
    Female
    Auckland...... New Zealand
    I totally agree here.
    I am 48, and have 2 teens 13 & 18 and a husband with health issues of his own for past 12 yrs.
    Mum and Dad sold their house and we built a house for them on the back of our property 8 yrs ago. It was mainly due to my husbands health issues, so they could help me with the children plus we were there for them as they were getting older.
    In the past 5 yrs Mums health has plummeted, and now with AD & Dad with MCI.
    My husband has short term memory & speech issues due to surgery and treatment for a brain tumour, so between Mum, Dad, my husband, my children and myself I often say I have to remember things for 6 people and no wonder I am forgetful and repeat myself.

    At the moment Mums AD has declined massively, and we are looking at respite or permanent care soon. It consumes my every thought and I am suffering for it.
    It is much like looking after another child in every respect, not to mention looking after another household, plus managing Mum & Dads finances.... and this is with 2 other siblings!
     
  4. Linbrusco

    Linbrusco Registered User

    Mar 4, 2013
    1,573
    Female
    Auckland...... New Zealand
    Coincidental, but this has just popped up on my Facebook from an American Alzheimers site.

    Lessons in Brain Health

    " Not all stress is bad, but chronic stress and anxiety can change brain wiring.
    Too much cortisol prevents the birth of new neurons and causes the brains memory centres to shrink, reducing your powers of learning and memory.
    To de-stress do something pleasurable. Find something you are reasonably good at and that also poses some degree of challenge"
     
  5. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,790
    Female
    Scotland
    I am in awe of your courage Linbrusco. Your siblings should be thoroughly ashamed if they do not take their share of all this responsibility. May whatever God you believe in be with you in this. Good wishes.
     
  6. brambles

    brambles Registered User

    Sep 22, 2014
    229
    Female
    NW England
    Oh Linbrusco, what a hard time you are having. I am sure you will be hard pressed to find time to do anything pleasurable to destress.

    Brambles x
     
  7. Linbrusco

    Linbrusco Registered User

    Mar 4, 2013
    1,573
    Female
    Auckland...... New Zealand
    Sounds alot worse than it is :) DH is in remission now 10 yrs but largely independent.
    Dad is OK other than coping with a wife with dementia which he still to this day cannot fathom and its getting harder for him.
    Mum is my biggest concern.

    Everyone's story is different and there are people coping with infinitely way worse situations than mine :eek: but Yes the endless "caring" aspect takes its toll on anyone sooner or later.

    Lo and behold my sister is taking Mum and Dad for the day and I am going out with my 13yo daughter shopping for new bedroom furniture. Hardly challenging but pleasurable all the same :D I don't have to rush back home :p
     
  8. brambles

    brambles Registered User

    Sep 22, 2014
    229
    Female
    NW England
    That's lovely. Enjoy your day.
     
  9. patsy56

    patsy56 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2015
    840
    Fife Scotland
    #9 patsy56, Mar 13, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2016
    yes I'm going as daft as they are :eek::D, no I did ask Doc and he said I only have a third of a brain the other 2/3rds are thinking for mater or OH.............
     
  10. netsy22

    netsy22 Registered User

    Oct 31, 2015
    257
    New syndrome

    You have identified a new syndrome "Carer's Brain".
    Let's define the symptoms:
    1.Buying bread for mum but forgetting I need some too.
    Does anyone care to add others?
     
  11. patsy56

    patsy56 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2015
    840
    Fife Scotland
    2. going upstairs to do something then going into spare room, sorting laundry and then down stairs again, only to remember you had to put your clothes on :D.OK change that to slippers.
     
  12. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    1,056
    GLASGOW
    When my mum still lived on her own at home i was very worrued about my own memory. Most was due to stress but you dont see that at the time. I watched a youtube video by Teepah Snow that explained the difference. You can only hold 6 thinks in your immediate memory. Any more than that and obe drops out. You re-remember when you go back to the start eg going upstairs and forgetting why only to remember when you get back down again. Dementia is nit firgetting its distrupting thinking. You go upstairs, forget why and start hiding stuff due to paranoid thoughts. The videos are well worth watching. I learned a lot from them especially about tone of voice, facial expression and use of body language to keeo pwd calm and content.
     
  13. patsy56

    patsy56 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2015
    840
    Fife Scotland
    I just feel I don't trust myself anymore
     
  14. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    1,056
    GLASGOW
    So sorry patsy. Wish i could help in some way. Sending you a virtual hug and wrapping you in a lovely quilt. Some days are just too hard. Xx quilty
     
  15. patsy56

    patsy56 Registered User

    Jan 14, 2015
    840
    Fife Scotland
    and huggs back
     
  16. Pollyanna153

    Pollyanna153 Registered User

    Jul 15, 2015
    41
    The practice nurse at our doctors told me when my husband was first diagnosed wig dementia that with stress I would feel like I forgetting things and that is normal
    And sometimes I do wonder ......
     
  17. di65

    di65 Registered User

    Feb 28, 2013
    771
    new zealand
    I totally agree.

    The lovely doctor at the memory clinic told me not to panic if this happened to me, as it is very common. Although I did experience many many instances of temporary memory blocks, I tried to heed her advice. Ten months down the track of having OH in full time care, I am just starting to feel that I am having less and less times when I am left with a bewildered look on my face.
    Here's hoping you come back from your 'senior moments' (as my dear friends call it) and can remember why you were going upstairs/outside/etc:D:D
     
  18. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,951
    Suffolk
    I see to remember (!) on So Bizarre, we agreed that we thought a poor memory is catching. Happily forgetting the stress we were all under. Hate to say it, but my memory is not back to where it should be yet, nearly 9 months after OH died.
     
  19. liz56

    liz56 Registered User

    Feb 15, 2015
    34
    North Somerset
    You have all cleared up something for me . Don't know why I didn't think of it before!
    The past 2 years of caring for dad I have felt my memory was not as good as it used to be. Resorted to notebooks for important stuff, and if something wasn't written down, then it was likely to be in one ear and out the other .
    Now dad is in a care home, and without really noticing it my memory is better.
    Maybe it's not just my old age, like I thought!
     
  20. dottyd

    dottyd Registered User

    Jan 22, 2011
    1,066
    n.e.
    With Alzheimer's running rife through two generations of my family I have taken steps to protect my memory.

    I've stopped all allopathic drugs that I believed were Impacting on my memory. I remember there was an article where a combination of various drugs could have this effect...so I stopped the ones I was on.

    My cousin is having fantastic results with my her mum, my mums older sister also who has Alzheimer's. She's found giving her total complex vit b drops has halted the progression and shes still in her own home aged 89. Mums been in a acre home 3.5 years and the progression has been great.

    So, I take vit b drops every day.

    I also take ginkgo Biloba every day. My memory though not fantastic is now very good and I was watching it slipping slowly away from me. My children were getting worried.

    There's a good book called a better brain book by Dr david perlmutter who has his own clinic in the states. Lots os suggestions in there.
    I also think we need to look at diets/ what we put in our bodies.

    Sugar has a very detrimental effect on me.
     

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