1. jan.

    jan. Registered User

    Apr 19, 2006
    Cheshire, UK.
    Can anyone tell me how i can get my father to eat his meat at mealtimes? I cook him a dinner every night because he won`t eat anything "snacky" i.e. baked potatoe with cheese beans or veg and chicken, most of it ends up in the bin!!! If i cook dinner, he`ll eat lots except for the meat, which he seems to spit out..... no matter how tender it is. He`s always enjoyed his meat and i always buy the best cuts, so i`m finding it increasingly frustrating to find most of it in the bin! I`ve cut down the size of portions i give him, but still says i give him too much. I worry that he`ll be losing more weight that he can`t afford to lose. I got him up to 10st 2lbs but he`s only 9st 7lbs now. Does this happen to everyone with A.D. Dad has just entered the moderate stage of A.D. I don`t like to think of him wasting away, and people thinking i`m neglecting him!


  2. dmc

    dmc Registered User

    Mar 13, 2006
    Hi jan

    I know in hospital, they used to mince my mums meat up, but she was on a soft diet, is your dad having trouble swallowing the meat?
    its really hard when they refuse to eat isnt it, all we could get my mum to eat when she was home was tinned soup with bread in it, and even that was a struggle!!
    would he eat something like a cottage pie with the meat already minced?
    sorry cant be more help
    good luck with it anyway
  3. mumof3

    mumof3 Registered User

    Feb 6, 2006
    My MIL still manages to cook her own meals but with little or no variety. Every evening it is some form of chicken or turkey oven cook dish. But at least she manages this herself. It is one area that she is not experiencing any difficulty with yet. She suffers from VaD and rheumatoid arthritis and at the arthritis clinic yesterday was weighed at 6 stone something. There is very little of her. She does eat three meals a day and is constantly snacking on sweet things - cream cakes, chocolate and sweeties. Food is one of her few remaining sources of pleasure. She has also cut down on smoking recently. It just seems impossible for her to put ant weight on and I don't know if this could be the result of any of the medication she is on.
  4. SallyB

    SallyB Registered User

    May 7, 2005
    Hi Jan,

    I am having the same problems with Dad at the moment. He has always been a good eater, in fact the carers have all commented in the past about how much he would eat. He has been going off his food for around a month. He had a chest infection so i thought that it might be that however he has now started pushing his food around the plate and mashing it up. Looks a bit like a child when they are messing around with it in the hope that you think they are eating it! I have started going round for his tea at 4pm to encourage him to eat but I carn't force him.

    Yesterday the respite lady rang me to say he was taking it out of the fridge and putting in the bin! The problem i have is that he has the same sort of things for his cold meal, it is difficult to introduce new foods as he won't eat things he doesn't recognise!

    I guess this is yet another stage.

  5. jan.

    jan. Registered User

    Apr 19, 2006
    Cheshire, UK.
    Thanks to all that replied,

    I posted replies to you all yesterday but somehow they got lost in the system!!!!! FRUSTRATING!!!!....especially when it takes me ages to type on this confounded machine!:) New to it you see!

    Right, i`ll try again....

    Donna, I give dad cottage pie and he seems to manage it ok, i just need a few alternatives i think!?!? My other option i suppose would be to get the liquidiser out ( something i`ve been trying to avoid)Just another slide down the slippery slope and all that!?!

    Mumof3, Dad is losing weight like your mum, and he will also eat loads of sweet things, i suspect it`s another symptom of this awful disease. I think dad has got worse with eating since he was prescribed Aricept but it may just be a coincidence.

    SallyB, i was interested to read that your dad had a chest infection, when i thought about it, i remembered the infection my dad had had when he was admitted to hospital after a fall late Feb. He broke 3 ribs but was kept in and given antibiotics intravenously for his infection......maybe that has a bearing on his varying capacity to eat????? Or like you say, yet another "stage" in this debilitating disease? What stage is your dad at??? I was wondering how long it takes to pass from one stage to another, like i said before, dads just into the
    moderate stage.

    Thanks again all.........Hope this B-----!!!!!! computer works this time!!!!!
  6. tweed

    tweed Registered User

    Apr 24, 2006
    dad wont eat meat

    hi jan
    have you checked your dads teeth or dentures? sometimes people just go off food that they really enjoyed. i have found that people develope a sweeter tooth
  7. Stimpfig

    Stimpfig Registered User

    Oct 15, 2005
    #7 Stimpfig, Apr 27, 2006
    Last edited: Apr 27, 2006

    A timely treat - see! Freudian slip - I mean thread - for me . I have tried all sorts of things for mum and used to spend time cooking her favourite dishes and buying her favourite snacks. For some time now, she's been pushing food away. I used to bully her into eating but that doesn't work anymore and I see that I am running short of much needed energy whilst suffering from a bad back myself. Nowadays she just opens the packaging and throws the stuff into the bin!

    I leave plenty of food /fruit on the table for her as I work a few hours in the morning and afternoon. When I get home, the food's all smashed up and in the bin; the banana is peeled; the peel is placed in the shoe; the shoe is placed on the bed; the banana is placed in the toilet bowl :eek: ... can go on ... She's also back to removing cushion covers and bed covers. Giving her a rummage box as suggested by the Alz. Soc. hasn't helped. The whole house is a rummage box as far as she's concerned.

    The other day when I returned she had done up her hair in a pony tail with a clothes clip - I didn't know whether to laugh or cry - decided it was better to laugh but made it a point to laugh WITH her :D

    And then she's always wanting to go 'home'; it's a daily routine from morning till evening - I have got tired of responding to that - so I just let her want to go 'home'.

    Am exhausted !
  8. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    Hiya all,
    Just some thoughts as I have been reading this thread.
    Jan I know that when mum had meat she used to chew it for ages; as she had lost the ability to feed herself dad used to feed her, and a meal could take over an hour to eat, especially as she might doze off part way through. She is on a soft diet in the nursing home, so her meat is minced (not liquidised), served quite damp; mum eats faster now and doesn't seem to get so tired when eating. I think we all try to fend off the next stage: not liquidising, not using incontinence pads, not using a wheelchair - we make life harder for ourselves and probably for those we love, and we don't stop the ever advancing tide.
    Oh and Jan, just think how good it is for you to retype your posting; practise makes perfect!;) And another thought if, your dad is happy eating cottage pie, make it by the pan full! Don't worry that he is not getting variety, as long as he is happy and eating (unless you have to eat it every day as well!) I think I would try mincing meat and serving it with mash and gravy etc.
    Stimpfig, had to smile at the banana in the toilet bowl, mum's just shortcutting the system!
    Best wishes.
  9. DickG

    DickG Registered User

    Feb 26, 2006
    Mary has the same problem with meat, even the tenderest meat is pushed to one side and nothing I can do will encourage her to eat meat. I know that when she was a child she was a "fussy eater" and this seems to part of the AD regression into childhood. I believe that the texture of the food plays a part since she will not eat crunchy cereals which previously she loved.

    I have got over the frustration of preparing food just to see it wasted and although I still serve up meat I know it is a waste of time but I like meat. There are plenty of proteins that she will take, cheese, fish etc. so I am not concerned about her diet
  10. SallyB

    SallyB Registered User

    May 7, 2005
    Hi Jan, I don't really know what stage my Dad is at. I carn't decide and know one seems to want to say.

    His problems with eating are relatively new but has coinsided with other deterioration.

    Today when i went to see him he was changing his pants. I helped him change them and his socks and slippers thinking he had got caught short in the bathroom only to go downstairs to the kitchen to find a massive puddle! When I said to him oh I see you had an accident he said yes wee wee. BUT he HAD shut the door so the dog couldn't get in.

    It is so weird that he could have a big accident but still remember to shut the door so the dog didn't go in there!

    Going back to his eating I am an ex nurse and completly obsessed with nutrition but I am also a great beliver in quality not quantity and am now wondering if I should just let him eat what he wants to. I feel so awful trying to encourage him to eat whe he doesn't want to.

    Wish I had the answers to all of this.

  11. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    NW England
    Nope, not me. (Honest answer).:D

    Now folks here may be horrified at what I'm about to say - but it won't be the first time. I have given up on meat and given up on mealtimes. Why the two ever needed to go together at all I don't know. All I am concerned with is getting mum to eat - ANYTHING - ANYTIME. (I know, I know, someone's gonna lecture me about routine being important.....)

    Right, controversy over (I hope).

    Mum loved fish - mackerel especially, (great Omega 3s - but I think that just recently went out of fashion? - shame - cheap, cheerful, allegedly healthy until its recent demise and quick to prepare!), prawns, baked cod..... now it's 'don't bring me fish I don't like it'.... 'Don't cook me anything, I'm not hungry', 'Don't bring me any more food I don't need to eat for a week' etc.....

    She accused me in front of the doc the other day of 'force feeding'!

    Now, turn up with an apple turnover and the only force is her grabbing it out of my hand! I feel like the proverbial 'Let them eat cake' - but some days I wonder why I even bother trying to prepare anything of great 'nutritional value' - what nutritional value is there when the stuff gets chucked in the bin? If mum wants to live on apple turnovers for a week is that not less harm to her having nothing at all? (Not that I have let her get away with that so far but it's tempting!)

    I find mum 'grazes' - like young children often do - and providing/leaving little snacks for the day seem to produce the desired effect (i.e. food into her stomach not directly the bin or elsewhere!) better than trying to 'stick' to rigid mealtimes.
    Some are healthy - some are not - but to me it has to be healthier than nothing at all....

    On the 'childhood' note, mum seems to enjoy the foods (or similar) she remembers from her really young days..... I found Staffordshire 'oatcakes' in Tescos which I could even leave her with to spread with jam and roll herself.... an achievement in itself because she could announce 'she had made her tea'! (Well, I guess by the debris in the kitchen at least some of the jam got to where it should have!)

    It's tough. I'm trying to stay fairly light about it - mum's weight loss is a great concern, as for many here. I hope I am doing right (for mum and for my own sanity) to try to relax the 'rules' I know I was brought up with - 'don't eat between meals', 'eat your meat' (that was on the basis of cost I believe!) etc etc....

    Who writes the rules now? I am making mine up as I go along. If it works for mum and me, then it's the 'new rule'!!

    Good luck, TF
  12. SallyB

    SallyB Registered User

    May 7, 2005

    Hi Tender Face,

    My Dad used to love fish, infact a few years ago he was eating tinned Mackerel every day ! Onset of disease? I think so. Offer him tinned fish now and he won't go near it!!

    He also went through a 'sweet' stage, I would buy him chocolate trifles 6 at a time. Two days later the whole lot would be gone with a couple of cans of Mackerel!!!

    He has gone off lots of things he has always liked. He won't eat his dinner if it has HP brown sauce on it now. For the last 25 years he wouldn't of eaten it without half a bottle!

    Has Mackerel got anything to do with Dementia???

  13. maggier

    maggier Registered User

    Jan 9, 2006
    I find the more I try and push mum to eat decent meals, the more she digs her heels in. She lives on basically "finger foods" because she cannot manage a knife and fork so well no. If I give her a proper eat and 3 veg type of meal, she pushes it round her plate until it looks like baby food, then says she has had enough. She has probably had no more than 2 or 3 forkfuls but when I go to take her plate off her and take it in the kitchen, by the time I comeback she will be sitting there chomping on sweets. So the dilemma is, do we leave her with sweets and cakes, which she can manage by herself, or do we make her wait until meal times, when she probably won't eat the meal anyway because (childishly) she prefers sweets. Personally (rightly or wrongly) I don't worry too much about her eating because I think maybe sweets and cakes are better than nothing at all and seeing as she doesn't go out at all, doesn't have any hobbies or interests at all (not that she can manage to do now any way!) I think, what the hell, if this is what now makes happy then so be it.

    Also does anyone know if things taste different to sufferers of AD. I ask because if mum just has mashed potato she pulls face like it is sour or tarty in some way and says it is horrible. Do the messages to the brain get mixed up so that quite bland things taste different?

    Love to all

    Mags x
  14. jakky

    jakky Registered User

    Jan 30, 2006
    hi maggier,

    just a suggestion,

    my mum has been with the EMI now for 10 weeks and they have mentioned that mum has a SWEET tooth. (fresh cream cakes go down very quickly, in fact I`m sure mum does not taste them:) )

    remember the sugar sandwiches, :eek:
    and couldn`t get any more syrup/treacle on the slice of toast as it was dripping off the crust.:)

    might be worth a try at adding some sweet ingredients to stuff

  15. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    NW England
    Mags, we were thinking the same thing at the same time! I was pondering along the same lines today as I have realised mum won't eat anything savoury put in front of her unless it is sprinkled liberally with black pepper. Also, I seem to be constantly pickling beetroot/cucumber... and the meal she has probably enjoyed most of late was curry..... (I'm discounting the apple turnovers, here!)... is this a sign food needs to be spiced/highly seasoned etc for her to be able to 'taste' at all? In which case, why would she live on cream cakes if I'd let her? :confused:
  16. Suzy R

    Suzy R Registered User

    Jul 4, 2004
    Hi all!

    I'm sure there's something in it. My mum's tastes have changed a lot, although she often says she doesn't like something, but will eat it anyway. Mashed potatoes, rice pudding and peas come to mind (although not, as yet, on the same plate). One day the peas might get thrown around the room (peas are horrible) and the next day they just don't touch the sides. Rice pudding never used to figure in her diet, but now she mostly forgets that she didn't like it and will eat it.

    On the plus side (maybe), we never have a problem getting mum to eat. She'll often eat anything that's in the house and we now have to have a lock on the fridge as she was eating raw stuff and weird things out of jars and making herself very sick. Anyone else had this problem? Ten minutes after a meal she'd be trying to make toast.

    As Tender Face says, eating at meal times is just convention, and convention is probably the last thing we need to worry about just now.

    Take care,
  17. Amy

    Amy Registered User

    Jan 4, 2006
    We had to hide the bars of soap!
  18. maria29al

    maria29al Registered User

    Mar 15, 2006
    My dad hardly ate anything in hospital but now he is in the Nursing Home he is eating for England...it is all mashed up tho as he can only have thickened stuff including any liquids...when he could eat in hospital however he was mad for chocolate buttons...I ended up getting my boss to buy them in bulk for me from Cash and Carry!!!!!

    I do think that being on a drip for so long in the hospital may have had something to do with it...

    Dad is over 6' and now weighs about 8st..he is a skeleton covered in skin and it doesnt seem to matter how much he eats anymore...very sad to see.

  19. DickG

    DickG Registered User

    Feb 26, 2006
    A Break Through

    A result! Tonight Mary ate half a sausage! We had sausage ,mash, peas and onion gravy - she ate everything and HALF A SAUSAGE!!!

  20. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    Fill up on puddings

    My partner always enjoyed his meat, yet now he spits it out (I have to feed him, as he can't feed himself) even mince or any small bits of meat in soup.
    He never had a sweet tooth before, yet now its the only thing he does not need to be encouraged to eat, so i make sure that he eats all his puddings as i worry about his weight.


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