Wow, what a fabulous response to my first post, thank you. I've been reading through all your comments and thought I'd do a few updates ......
Canary - Thanks for your wisdom and experiences. I agree we are definitely heading for the 'little and often' but combined with an expectation that there is also a meal time. I thought pancakes might be a good idea to try, but they got a big rejection. I'd love to be able to make a meal that I could freeze portions of to quickly zap in the microwave .... I just need to find something that she will eat first, that would be a big bonus.
Lunch almost seems to be the easiest, the only bread she will reliably eat are brioche buns - it probably comes back to the texture thing that you mention Canary. Brioche buns are very light and easy compared to a lot of breads. I cut the bun into 4 quarters and feed her two at lunchtime with 3 layers. A cheese/onion sandwich filler on the bottom, something like an egg mayonaise next (with added spring onion/red pepper) and then 'butter' the top with a spicy hummus for some chickpea protein. Follow that up with either yoghurt, cake or ice cream.
Although she's vegetarian, she only gave up fish a year or two ago (meat has been gone for 16 years) but in my desperation I've also added in a tuna mayo (plus spring onions/red pepper). She's no idea it's fish but helps me vary and provide nutrition. To be honest she gave up fish without any thought as to what else she would eat when she was already getting too picky. I used to say she was a vegetarian that hated vegetarian food!!
Keeping pots in the fridge of the various mixtures means it's easy to make up another one at any time of the day.
I've also found that she will eat the odd quarter of a bun with nuttella during the day.
Mood is also a big problem when it comes to eating. If she's generally happy, then there's a good chance she'll eat something. If she's not, then it's a very good chance that the bin will get everything.
Dimpsy - I've tried putting food out so that she can just help herself whenever, but she just keeps 'tidying up'. She'll think that she doesn't want it so takes it back to the kitchen and always puts it out of the way, so if she did want something later, she'd never see it. Everytime I put it back .... she takes it away again.
Thanks Dootee, I have wondered about some sort of meat (purely out of desperation of course). The thought came to me because another lunch that I've found works is a cheese bake - those dip like things you put in the oven for half an hour. Aldi do a veggie one that she does seem to really like - spread on a toasted brioche bun. The jalapenos etc in it all seem to be pureed (would have to be if it's a dip I guess) so the meaty one hopefully is to and it's chorizo - and that's got tons of flavour. I am tempted to try it out.
I've tried all sorts of drinks including the lemonade and flavoured water to no avail.
Andrew_McP - I've doubts on Angel Delight, but I'll give it a go! Perhaps if I find a vanilla one - she loves vanilla, and then load the milk with double cream ;-) Thanks for the suggestion. Mind you, with all her leftovers I can see myself getting fat haha.
Peter107 - Thank you, it does sound like we're in the same boat and just 2 years apart and sounds like it could be a similar journey.
Boudica - Thank you. I'm afraid tinned soups are also a no-go. I've tried all sorts and she refuses every single one :-( I never force her to eat, I bet we've all learned that one the hard way! It does take quite some time to settle down and accept the rejections - spend time preparing and cooking, present the meal to be told it's horrible and disgusting. If I'd said that to her before her Alz started I'd have been wearing it! Lol.
Grahamstown - Blending everything up into a drink .... interesting! I'll bear that in mind and have a good think about that one thank you.
icu2 - I'll give Wiltshire a try thanks.
Your poor dog! My wife keeps wanting to give her food to the cats and everyday I have to tell her they don't eat vegetarian food lol
I've also come to the realisation that double cooking is now a must. I've always resisted the idea before because I don't want to cook twice, but with her reduced appetite and rejecting so many foods, the types of meals I end up doing just so that she will eat aren't particularly well balanced. I'm giving her her vitamin tablets everyday, but what about me? If we're not careful we can be too concerned with getting our partners to eat as well as we can while neglecting our own nutritional needs - thought I'd throw that one out there, let's remember to look after ourselves too.