Food for thought

[Helen33]

Alan said to me tonight "Do you like me?" and he looked me in the eyes. I said "Of course I like you, I love you". He looked querying so I tried to get from him what made him wonder. He managed in a round about way to say that he thought the male sitter was interested in me.

I was easily able to assure Alan that it was him I loved and wasn't interested in the sitter and that the sitter came to see him, not me. I think it's because whenever I'm there the sitter wants to talk to me and Alan needs the 100% attention.

Love

 

[Grannie G]

It`s interesting Helen.
I wonder if Alan would have asked if the sitter was female and wanted to talk to you.
It could be his lowered self esteem.
So sad.

 

[gigi]

Helen...

Eric asks me everyday if I love him..I hug him and kiss him as many times as it takes...
But it's never enough.

In Eric's mind I think the only way he will be 100% guaranteed about this is if I sit with him every minute of the day...and fulfill his every need.

Even now...(For reasons yet undisclosed my computer is in the lounge tonight)....it's interesting..I thought he may have more security being able to see me....but whereas normally he may have nodded off to sleep..he is constantly interrupting and my laptop is a threat..."Are you still working on that thing ?" is the latest comment.

If he can't see my attention being diverted...he doesn't know and does not comment.

It's only when my attention is diverted and he witnesses it that he seems to feel "threatened"..for want of a better word.

Love gigi xx

 

[BeckyJan]

Helo Helen:

Is it possible that Alan is losing confidence in himself? As abilities are reduced then a sufferer feels less secure and constant boosts are needed to keep them strong.

You have obviously met Alan's needs by convincing him that you love him and only him. You may find this has to be emphasised alot during this stage in the disease.

What a tricky path we tread

Love Jan

 

[Helen33]

Sylvia, I don't think he would have had the same worry about a female sitter.

Gigi, You've just answered a question I've been asking myself for ages. "Shall I buy a laptop so that I can use it and be closer to Alan?". I can see now that it wouldn't solve the problem.

Alan was reassured by my response and is back to his happy self since the holiday

 

[stikwik]

laptop

hi helen

i use a laptop in the lounge so i can be near steve (although was originally to help my hip re trips upstairs), and think he understands it's better than the alternative which would mean me being in the office. he's also capable of being jealous of it if in a mood, but is largely happy if i'm just near, and i make sure i talk to him lots still etc. he likes to watch tv which helps as i can put time team on or heartbeat and he won't notice too much what i'm up to. if you can afford it, it may be worth the chance as it may help (and a laptop is very handy anyway).

nik

 

[Helen33]

Hello Nik

You must be psychic I have been thinking about getting a laptop for quite a while now. The thing that has stopped me is that I am not a computer whizz but I have my computer working just right. I am scared that if I have to go wifi (or whatever I would need) I wouldn't know what to do. I have no one around to help me with even simple problems regarding computer issues.

I must try to get round this problem because it really would help I think.

I hope you are o.k.

Love

 

[Sam Iam]

Helen & Gigi I think it is lovely that the dementia has not robbed your men of their love for you xx
Still it must be difficult and you care with such love and affection
Heres a wee hug for you all

 

[gigi]

Laptop...

Helen..I'm wireless...is that what you mean?

I understand your concern about changing things once they're established....unless you have someone to set you up and troubleshoot it can be sressful....

Eric seems to accept me using "the machine" out here in the kitchen...and shouts when he wants something. If he can see me he will question everything....if he can't see me I can have a bit of peace...He's not so far away from me ..and I've become so accustomed to his movements I'm tuned in to the moment he tries to stand up....

For now I keep my laptop and Eric seperate...but who knows what tomorrow will bring? There may well come a time when our current situation will change again...

And I am looking into buying a desktop....but like you...am reluctant to change because things seem to work ok at the moment..


Love gigi xx

 

[gigi]

Sam....

Thankyou so much for the hugs and comfort...

love gigi xx

 

[sue38]

Hi Helen

My laptop is not wireless (although could be). I just swapped it for the old PC because it took up less space. Why don't you try a laptop, wired up, before you move on to WiFi?

 

[connie]

This post made me reminisce

I always assumed that Lionel felt secure in our love for each other.

This was dispelled when he accused me of 'seeing other men' after I put him to bed at night. This went on for a few weeks, and no amount of discussion would make him deviate from his thoughts.

He was quite graphic in what he thought I was getting up to.
Thankfully that time passed. How sad that the one thing they should be able to take comfort from is denied them at times.

 

[Helen33]

Hello Sue and Gigi

Why don't you try a laptop, wired up, before you move on to WiFi?

Because I didn't know you could Would I have to synchronise it to my computer? Would I have the same email address? Would I have to re-register with TP?

If I could get the service provider to provide me with another connection or two (sitting room and kitchen) - or maybe toilet as well and I could have the same email address then that would be somewhere to start.

Any helpful advice would be really appreciated.

 

[fredsnail]

You wouldn't have to syncronise it with your other pc - you wouldn't be able to view files on the old pc on your new pc though unless you've got them connected.

You wouldn't need a new email address, and you can log into TP the same as you do on the old pc.

Hope that helps a bit.

fs

 

[Helen33]

Dear Fredsnail

That really does help - thank you very much.

Love