My friend has early onset dementia. She has never eaten well and healthily all her life. Since she has been on this road it is getting more and more difficult to get her to eat proper food. She seems to exist on crisps and coke. All attempts for real food have failed. She keeps saying things taste bland yet refuses suggestions to use sauces etc to get over this. Any ideas? Is this common? Am at my wits end.
Food fads
- Thread starter Cherryade
- Start date
It's either the person won't stop eating (my mother) or won't start. I don't know what to recommend, except perhaps eating with company might help. Is there anyone who can control what your friend is eating? Even if there is only one healthy (ish) meal a day, that would be an excellent start - might be the finish also but let's see what happens.
Cherryade, I'm sorry to hear about your friend. This is a frustrating and upsetting issue for you to witness.
I had the same experience with my mother (who has Alzheimer's) regarding food. She went through a period where she didn't eat and lost a lot of weight, and became malnourished. She also went through a period where she ate everything in sight and gained weight.
Part of the problem, for my mother, was that she was unable to cook herself a meal, plan a meal, shop for the correct ingredients, et cetera--an executive function problem. The loss or diminishing of executive function can happen, and the PWD (person with dementia) can be unaware that it's happening, or in fact, because of the disease process, unable to understand there is a problem (that's a whole other issue, anosognosia).
Another part of the problem was that she was no longer feeling hunger and thirst in the usual way, so she would refuse offers of food, as she wasn't getting hunger signals from her body. She would refuse food up to and after the point where it was placed in front of her, in fact. Then she would often say that she still wasn't hungry, but would have a bite "to keep [me] company." I also learned I had to sit directly across the table from her and keep eating and drinking until her plate was empty, as she would eat the entire meal, but only as long as I was eating. She needed both the social setting, and the visual cues, to eat and drink.
And another piece of it is that the dementia has changed how things taste. Either sweet foods are more appealing, or the body craves sugar and carbohydrates, or bitter things taste more bitter, or all of the above. I'm not sure what the mechanism is, or what is happening in the brain.
What eventually worked for my mother was moving her into a care home, where she is taken to meals three times a day and she mostly eats what they give her, and her medication (including vitamins) are given to her as well. Luckily they were able to treat the vitamin deficiencies in time, before damage was done.
You might find some information here that is helpful: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=149
The only practical ideas I have, besides someone preparing healthy meals three times a day and sitting down to eat with your friend, are some ideas I've seen here on TP.
Some PWDs go to a lunch club or adult/dementia day care one or more days during the week, where at least one meal is provided.
If Meals on Wheels is available in her area, that could be an option.
Prepared (frozen) meals from the grocery store or a delivery service like Wiltshire Farm Foods, although this might also need a volunteer or paid carer to come in several times daily, heat them up, and serve them. There can also be problems with the PWD not eating them after the carer has left, or emptying them out of the freezer, but you don't know until you try.
A carer can also prepare and leave some other items to be snacked on during the day, like sandwiches or fruit and cheese, veggies, et cetera. Again, that could work great or not.
Especially if there are any other medical issues (like diabetes or a thyroid issiue or something) going on, I'd make sure the GP is made aware, so they can do any appropriate blood tests. Even though someone's doctor likely won't/can't talk to you, because of privacy issues, they can listen to anything you tell them.
Sorry I haven't better advice. Best wishes to you both.
I had the same experience with my mother (who has Alzheimer's) regarding food. She went through a period where she didn't eat and lost a lot of weight, and became malnourished. She also went through a period where she ate everything in sight and gained weight.
Part of the problem, for my mother, was that she was unable to cook herself a meal, plan a meal, shop for the correct ingredients, et cetera--an executive function problem. The loss or diminishing of executive function can happen, and the PWD (person with dementia) can be unaware that it's happening, or in fact, because of the disease process, unable to understand there is a problem (that's a whole other issue, anosognosia).
Another part of the problem was that she was no longer feeling hunger and thirst in the usual way, so she would refuse offers of food, as she wasn't getting hunger signals from her body. She would refuse food up to and after the point where it was placed in front of her, in fact. Then she would often say that she still wasn't hungry, but would have a bite "to keep [me] company." I also learned I had to sit directly across the table from her and keep eating and drinking until her plate was empty, as she would eat the entire meal, but only as long as I was eating. She needed both the social setting, and the visual cues, to eat and drink.
And another piece of it is that the dementia has changed how things taste. Either sweet foods are more appealing, or the body craves sugar and carbohydrates, or bitter things taste more bitter, or all of the above. I'm not sure what the mechanism is, or what is happening in the brain.
What eventually worked for my mother was moving her into a care home, where she is taken to meals three times a day and she mostly eats what they give her, and her medication (including vitamins) are given to her as well. Luckily they were able to treat the vitamin deficiencies in time, before damage was done.
You might find some information here that is helpful: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/scripts/documents_info.php?documentID=149
The only practical ideas I have, besides someone preparing healthy meals three times a day and sitting down to eat with your friend, are some ideas I've seen here on TP.
Some PWDs go to a lunch club or adult/dementia day care one or more days during the week, where at least one meal is provided.
If Meals on Wheels is available in her area, that could be an option.
Prepared (frozen) meals from the grocery store or a delivery service like Wiltshire Farm Foods, although this might also need a volunteer or paid carer to come in several times daily, heat them up, and serve them. There can also be problems with the PWD not eating them after the carer has left, or emptying them out of the freezer, but you don't know until you try.
A carer can also prepare and leave some other items to be snacked on during the day, like sandwiches or fruit and cheese, veggies, et cetera. Again, that could work great or not.
Especially if there are any other medical issues (like diabetes or a thyroid issiue or something) going on, I'd make sure the GP is made aware, so they can do any appropriate blood tests. Even though someone's doctor likely won't/can't talk to you, because of privacy issues, they can listen to anything you tell them.
Sorry I haven't better advice. Best wishes to you both.
My mum used to eat her own weight in fruit pies and shop bought fish and chips. She refused any bland food and demanded anything sweet, and loved sweet and sour chicken. Her packet flavoured porridge had spoonfuls of syrup added. The only fruit she would eat were pears and satsumas. She would only eat a 'proper' meal with veg at her lunchclub.
All our attempts to get her to eat healthy failed. She now will eat whatever is put in front of her. We use frozen delivery meals for the carer to prepare.
All our attempts to get her to eat healthy failed. She now will eat whatever is put in front of her. We use frozen delivery meals for the carer to prepare.
That struck me as my Mum too likes a vegetable stir fry with sweet and sour sauce, something she would never have eaten before. She also has quite a sweet tooth. I think she likes anything really tasty to eat and she will drink fruit-flavoured smoothies. As others have said, you have to be careful if she has diabetes.
Her tastes have also changed. And continue to do so! Something she liked one day, she will turn her nose up at another, so you have to keep adapting.
I have tried Wiltshire foods - that fad lasted 3 weeks! She has never bought fruit in her life nor eaten it. Same with veg. She says now that she does not like beef, chicken, fish, lamb,pork, sausages, bacon etc etc. She says everything tastes bland but will not use mustard, sauces or eat curry or chilli. What else is left apart from cheese on toast? Her carer at night is supposed to see she eats, heat up a microwave meal etc but is fighting a losing battle. It goes in the bin when she leaves and its back to crisps and coke. She is definitely not losing weight but complains she is putting it on. She has been told by everyone that she must start eating proper food but......................
And she lives on her own - company at meal times is not possible.
And she lives on her own - company at meal times is not possible.
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It is hard and as others have said, it seems to be a common effect of dementia. I've tried to be quite relaxed with my mother and her eating - she also now likes sweet things (which she never used to) and goes for more heavily flavoured foods. If I'm honest, as long as she's eating regularly, gets some fruit and veg and fibre and takes enough liquid (which is a bit of a battle) I'm OK with it given that she's 90, as strong as an ox and with increasingly advancing dementia. My problem is that she has decided she doesn't seem to like anything I cook. Everyone tells me I'm a good cook and until recently my mother was very happy with what I made for her but now every night I'm told it's a 'poor meal' and I should complain to 'them'. I've tried buying good quality ready meals but they're not good enough either. It's wearing - though she eats it (other than last night when I'd bought a lamb dish which, even though I'm a veggie, looked and smelled good and the meat was falling off the bone; however the first mouthful she took was a bit of gristle and she refused to eat any more).
I'm not sure what I would do if she decided to live on her equivalent of coke and crisps which would probably be toast and tea. I suspect that I would cajole and try things but I also think I would just let her eat what she wanted but take every opportunity to get her to eat other things. Would your friend eat baked beans and cheese on toast? Would she eat a snack like that with you ie if you had the same? Would she eat tasty sandwiches? Would she go out to a cafe and have something with you? I know you'll have tried all of that and this may be a battle you can't do much to win. All the best. Sue
I'm not sure what I would do if she decided to live on her equivalent of coke and crisps which would probably be toast and tea. I suspect that I would cajole and try things but I also think I would just let her eat what she wanted but take every opportunity to get her to eat other things. Would your friend eat baked beans and cheese on toast? Would she eat a snack like that with you ie if you had the same? Would she eat tasty sandwiches? Would she go out to a cafe and have something with you? I know you'll have tried all of that and this may be a battle you can't do much to win. All the best. Sue
Two things come to mind here - firstly, has she perhaps forgotten how to use cutlery and so has no idea how to eat dinners without social cues? Secondly, are you asking her what she would like? Mum would say that she didnt like things and didnt want anything, when in reality she couldnt remember what these things were.
Have you tried more finger food? - small sandwiches, mini pork pie cut into quarters, cherry tomatos, pizza cut into small sections, grapes, cold chicken breast cut into bite-sized pieces, etc. Put a selection of things into a container that she can find and help herself. Start slowly with crisps and cheese and add other things gradually (people with dementia hate change)
Would she drink smoothies? You can get (or make) really nutritious smoothies that are packed full of protein and vitamins. You would probably have to get one of the carers to give the smoothie to her though, as she probably wouldnt recognise it as something for her to drink.
Good luck
