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New member
Sep 24, 2021
Nearly two years ago my mum had a mini stroke and I was told we were on the path to vascular dementia.
some good days and some less so good. she lives with and I’m her carer. She won’t pay for any other help although she gets AA. She’s 97 and I’m coming up to my 73rd and I’m cream crackered! She’s saying she can’t feel anything in her hands, is this part of it? I don’t know what im looking for really.
my daughter and I reckon she’s had another min stroke because she sits with her left arm as if it’s useless. She’s also finding it harder to hold a teacup and use a fork, is this what happens ?
I hope you don’t mind my asking I just feel I’m walking through dense fog not knowing what I can and cannot do other than not live my life!


Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
it could be, my husband had a mini stroke and his left side is weaker[his dominant side] and shakes a bit. it depends which side of the brain is affected.he has vascular dementia as a result of it. check with the gp its not something else


Registered User
Feb 9, 2017
Hi @Maas , do you have power of attorney? If you do you can organise some help and pay out of her funds. She doesn’t have capacity to say no if she cannot understand that at 73 you can’t do everything.


Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
hello @Maas
a warm welcome to DTP
ask away, that's what we're here for

you're clearly concerned about how your mum is, so contact her GP and arrange a check up, to set your mind at rest at the very least

I agree about 'quietly' organising home care visits and even fibbing that they are free after 90 years of age!

you mention AA, so I'm hoping your mum's care needs have been assessed by your Local Authority Adult Services ... if not, contact them for a care needs assessment for her (or re-assessment) and a carer's assessment for you ... a care package might include some day care and respite

it may even be time to consider residential care as you sound exhausted and you do not want to reach carer breakdown