first xmas without my mum

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by nicetotalk, Dec 25, 2006.

  1. nicetotalk

    nicetotalk Registered User

    Sep 22, 2006
    155
    stretford
    My dear mum passed away 6th of march this year,my feelings are up and down, i try to remember all the good things but i find it so hard. I can only remember her illness 8 years of it,what she went through,what were her thoughts how did she feel iam sorry if i am makeing you all feel sad idont mean to being xmas. But hey xmas they say is a joyfull time well not the way iam feeling. Iam sure i am not alone i know they say time isa great healer but its just so hard. My mum was 62 whenshe passed young at heart befor she was diagnosed 7 children,12 grandchildren one greatgranchild it is so sad. All day ive been thinking i know my mum is watching over us all it is still not real to me she is not here. I try to be strong and think she is at peace now and forthat i am glad but it still hurts.

    dont mean to be so down but it is still so raw for me at the moment i look at her pictures and shake my head because i still carnt believe she is not hearbut i know she lives on in spirit
    j
    KATHY
     
  2. Nell

    Nell Registered User

    Aug 9, 2005
    1,170
    Australia
    Hi Kathy,

    Christmas is especially hard, IMHO, for those of us who have lost someone in the last 12 months. We had a lovely day yesterday - first Christmas since Dad died in October - but we were choked up at different times of the day. I always make a fruit punch (we are in Australia hence hot Christmasses!)and Dad loved it. He always said "give us another glass of the fruity drink". Yesterday I shed a tear as I made it. We drank a toast to him before lunch - my sister tried to make it and couldn't finish. Then my other sister tried to finish for her, but couldn't. We all had a few tears,thinking of him.

    I hope other parts of your day were happy and joyful - as our's were. Nell.
     
  3. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    1,665
    Hiya Kathy

    I'm sorry your feeling so sad...........my partner died 6 months ago and i feel the same..........filled up a few times today...........its not easy to keep the thoughts at bay or the memories..........and whatever people say, the good memories hurt just as much as the bad ones.....only in different ways.

    Nothing anyone can say will help the way your feeling and everyone deals with it differently..............me.........i try to keep busy, i try not to think about it, doesn't always work and there are times when i'm in tears and it hurts like hell, but then i think.............if i'd never had him in my life, i wouldn't hurt...........so maybe the hurt is not such a big price to pay for the life we had together............if i was offered another life with him, but the price was to go through this pain again at the end...........there would be no question..............i'd take the life again and this pain at the end. Maybe its all about acceptance rather than avoiding the pain.

    I hope you manage to find a way of coming to terms with your loss.

    Love Alex x
     
  4. nicetotalk

    nicetotalk Registered User

    Sep 22, 2006
    155
    stretford
    Hi Nell and Alex

    thank you for your replys happy new year to you both

    kathy
     
  5. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    10,824
    london
    Could be right there Alex xx so hard is acceptance (((( hugs))) to all

    PS Then the pain , its like a catch 22
     
  6. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    1,665
    #6 alex, Dec 27, 2006
    Last edited: Dec 27, 2006
    Hiya Margarita

    It is really tough, but i think if you can accept the fact that your going to hurt for a long time.......... it helps to deal with the pain when it comes............don't know if that makes any sense, but i know what i'm trying to say:confused:

    Happy New Year to you too Kathy...........i hope 2007 is a better year for you and your family.........may the most you wish for, be the least you get.

    Love Alex x
     
  7. Kriss

    Kriss Registered User

    May 20, 2004
    513
    Shropshire
    #7 Kriss, Dec 27, 2006
    Last edited: Dec 27, 2006
    I bought the Angelis cd recently and it has some beautifl music on it but this has to be my favourite for the words mean so much:

    • Even Though You're Gone • | by Angelis
    (Verse 1)
    Words, Words are not enough
    For me to say how much I miss you
    You, flew away too soon
    I feel so alone not with you

    (Chorus)
    But when I close my eyes
    Every night
    I hear your voice like an angel
    And you're here again by my side
    I swear I hear your words
    They sing through me
    And I'm back where I belong
    You are here even though you are gone

    (Verse 2)
    You're here, everywhere I go
    Deep inside my heart forever
    And one, one sweet day I know
    We will be back together

    (Chorus)
    But until we are, here in the dark
    I hear your voice like an angel
    And you're here with me by my side
    I swear I hear your words
    They sing through me
    And I'm back where I belong
    You are here even though you are gone
    And I know inside you're there

    I hear your voice
    And you're here with me by my side
    I swear your words
    They sing through me
    And I'm back where I belong
    You are here even though you are gone
    And I know inside you're there

    it took an awful lot of plays before I could manage to sing all of the words through and I admit to not having tried since losing Auntie on Sunday. I hope you will find some comfort in them.
     
  8. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    1,665
    Hi Kriss

    The words are lovely..............i've never heard it before, but i've made a note of it and i'll look it up next i'm in the music shop.

    Thanks...... it must have been tough for you to write the words...........under the circumstances.

    Kind regards
    Love Alex x
     
  9. Kriss

    Kriss Registered User

    May 20, 2004
    513
    Shropshire
    morning Alex - i guarantee you will cry buckets but crying can be good - we have all had lots of practice havent we.
     
  10. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    1,665
    Your telling me honey!;) :)

    Love Alex x
     
  11. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    1,665
    Hi Kriss

    I found it today............couldn't believe that 'Pie Jesu' and 'Somewhere over the rainbow' are on the same album...........i had a harpist playing and singing both at the funeral.........talk about cry?:rolleyes: i'll need someone to pick me up off the floor by tonight!

    Alex x
     
  12. alex

    alex Registered User

    Apr 10, 2006
    1,665
    Hiya Tina

    Me too hon............having a real tough day today..........hopefully tomorrow might be better...........but i somehow doubt it!:eek: :eek:
    We'll get there............eh?;)

    Love Alex x
     
  13. mel

    mel Registered User

    Apr 30, 2006
    1,656
    Sheffield
    Hi All
    I really do feel for you all.....you think your doing well ....then bang!!....you feel back to square 1.
    hang on in there......
    love xx
     
  14. vicky

    vicky Registered User

    Dec 24, 2006
    5
    wales
    thinking of you

    when people pass away i do believe they are looking over us and they help us 2 overcome the pain and the sense of loss that we feel.
    i feel so empty inside as my nan passed away just yesterday and i do not think it has sunk in yet, but the thing that is helping me cope is the fact that i now know she is at peace. and somewhere inside of me i believe that she is starting a new journey 2 a new place. i hope these words have comforted you at this hard time, i will be thinkin of you
    xx
     

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