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First visit to respite


Registered User
Sep 12, 2015

I have early onset of Alzheimer's and was diagnosed three years ago.

I am visiting a respite for the first time next week ready for having my first overnight stay the following week. I am looking forward to it but also a bit nervous as I have not tried respite before. Has anyone had an experience already of starting respite?


Volunteer Host
Nov 6, 2008
Hi Ladym@d, welcome to TP (talking point), I would imagine anyone would feel nervous the first time.

When my husband went for respite he was well looked after and if he had wanted to he could have joined in the activities, I hope it goes well for you.


Registered User
Oct 18, 2013
British Isles
I'm sure everyone will make you feel really welcome. Just a thought - if you have particular food preferences/dislikes it might be a topic to pop on your list of questions to ask during the visit.

Hope you enjoy your "mini-break", it's nice to have something different to look forward to at this dark and gloomy time of year.


Registered User
Sep 12, 2015
First visit

Thank you everyone for your replies.

I visited the respite that had been highly recommended to us with my mother last week. On first impressions we were pleasantly surprised and my mother liked it and was looking forward to her stay. During the visit I made the duty manager aware of all dietary needs and was informed they wouldn't be an issue as the chief would be able to accommodate my mothers needs.

On arrival today to respite things were very different to the day we visited as the check in process was very unorganised, the room was not ready and the chief was not aware of my mothers dietary needs.

CQC had arrived whilst we were there to carry out an inspection, I was extremely surprised that when I was leaving no one went to my mother to spend time with her or ask if she wanted to join in the activities. I did bring this up with the care staff after I left as my mother did get upset when I was leaving which I did expect.

After only a few hours there my mother decided she wanted to come home, after many conversations of me having to call the management and them not calling me back a decision was made by all for my mother to return home.

As my mother is in the very early stages of Alzheimer's she is still very independent in many areas. Both she and I felt the other residents at respite were a lot more advanced then her which she found very unsettling and distressing to the point that it has put her off trying other respites at this time.

After today's experience I do feel my mother would be more suited to a respite placement for other individuals with early onset who are of a similar level to her. I am a social care manager and have a sibling with autism in residential care and am therefore very familiar with the field of care.

Does anyone know of any such respites in or around the Hertfordshire area? Alternatively does anyone have other suggestions for other forms of respite? as my father and I both do need some form of respite which would be beneficial to both of us and my mother.




Registered User
Sep 12, 2015
Introducing new glasses

Hi my mum has early onset of alzheimers, I took her for a recent eye test the out come was she needed new glasses. After only one day of having the new glasses she said they weren't correct and that she could not get on with them.

I arranged for her to go back to the optician who confirmed the new prescription was correct. She was becoming agitated with their attempts to help her get on with the glasses. In the end they gave us a full refund.

She has since had an appointment with an eye specialists optician from Moorfields eye hospital. The optician was very clear that my mother would need to give the new glasses time for her eye to adjust to. After only wearing the new glasses for four hours she asked for the old pairs back saying she could not get on with the new glasses despite me asking her to give them some time.

Has anyone experienced anything similar or have any suggestions? Not sure what's best to do give her back the old glasses or try and encourage her to give the new ones some more time. She can get agitated if she isn't happy with something therefore I don't want to cause her any undue stress. On the other hand we can't keep going to different opticians to get new glasses if she's going to keep saying she can't get on with the new pairs.




Registered User
Oct 26, 2011
From experience with new glasses (I am VERY short sighted) I would guess that the best bet would be to give Mum the new glasses first thing in the morning - preferably before she has had her old ones on.

If you can manage to get her to keep them on for gradually increasing times you will probably be able to get her to switch. So if she had them on for 4 hours today before you had to give her the old ones back try for 4[SUP]1[/SUP]/[SUB]2[/SUB] or 5 hours tomorrow. The next day add another 30 minutes or an hour and so on.

If there has been a big change in prescription I find my eyes (well the muscles round my eyes anyway) get sore and tired for the first few days. They cope best in the morning if I go from no glasses in bed to the new ones - so not coping with a change between types. If my eyes get too grumpy I go back to the old version for the rest of the day and try again the next morning.

Good luck.

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