1. TNJJ

    TNJJ Registered User

    May 7, 2019
    631
    Female
    cornwall
    For heavens sake! Even if she hadn’t read his notes ,his care plan should be up to date(?)!That would give her an update of his situation in the home.
    I’m sure I read somewhere that your dad is requiring 2people to lift or move him.How is he getting out of bed?
    If he is being hoisted then he needs a hospital bed as it will cause a health and safety issue for the carers and your dad..

    If he is now developing red areas on his back then he will require turning.(pressure areas again)Are they refusing to assess him?
    @Cannot get a recliner or hospital bed in his room why cannot they take out some furniture?

    I hope you get some joy from your doctor.(((hugs))).
     
  2. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,626
    No joy!
    Ended up handing over the phone to my husband today as I politely said to the GP through gritted teeth
    “ I’m struggling to be polite now , so I think before I say something I regret you’d better speak to my husband!”

    the Gp on advice from the useless district nurse had taken dad off pain patches & put him back on co codamol!!!!!

    so as yet again this Gp only works two days a week & is again going on holiday - we can’t be spoken or seen for another 3 weeks!!

    not happening!!

    amazing how these GP’s can get to the home but can’t get to the home when we are there!

    I’m so fed up! Got dad put back on the patches & asked how this dr could review without seeing dad or understanding his history!
    Especially as no CMHT has been involved since he moved into the care home, & don’t get me started on the diabetic nurse or ongoing weight loss & Dads lack of appetite being a side effect of his diabetic medication!!

    I really wonder why some people go into a caring profession at times!

    still waiting to hear from Safeguarding office locally; after bei g told that the homes replies were acceptable

    - no record of falls
    - no record of dad assaulting two members of staff
    - no record of swallowing issues
    - no record of mobility issues
    - no record of recent concerns of pressure sores

    the list goes on!!

    I really cannot believe this is happening again!

    so at the moment Dad has no social worker, no CMHT, no OT, no dietician, no SALT assessment, no dementia consultant,
    Nada!!

    it’s just me trying to prove my Dads medical history & get access to his medical notes so I can prove I’m telling the truth!

    I really am at the end of my sanity now with this ridiculous situation.

    the care homes clever use of no record, means I have to provide dates & evidence to back up the issues !!

    I feel sick all the time my blood pressure is 177 over oh my that’s not good!!!
    I’m in and out of hospital because of the toll this is taking on my own health!!

    I can’t believe I’m writing that I’m in this situation again. I’m sure if my family weren’t present & witness to all this that I would be branded a fantasist!!

    duty of care......

    what a joke - dads gp was more concerned about going on holiday!!!
    Meanwhile my husbands holiday & my week off is sorting out this mess again- with me having emergency doctors / hospital appointments because of the stress & its toll on my body!


    I really hope there is a god, & a judgement day.
     
  3. millalm

    millalm Registered User

    Oct 9, 2019
    10
    Your post from Sept 28 really spoke to me. You have not failed or let down your Dad, you are fighting a system that sounds like it has become broken. Perhaps because of funding over more demands than resources. It may be of little consolation but the issues you are having are no different than the ones we have here in Canada. The only way forward is to keep pushing, I understand when you say why you don't want to take pictures of your Dad , my Dad was the same ( fleet air arm too), but you need to put those thoughts aside and do what you need to do to get the things he needs. I would be taking pictures and documenting everything, treating it as a business transaction as opposed to a personal situation. They are expending energy to cover their posteriors, you need to make it about how they can help you, confront them about why they took a picture that does not represent the reality when what you really need is their help. If they say the room is too small for the bed, measure and plan how the bed would fit, offer to move out the excess furniture yourself. Put everything in writing, keep a journal and be able to produce dates and notes of conversations as they take place. Make them aware in a non threatening way that you are doing this. You may not be able to fix the system, but you can make it more difficult for them to keep saying no than to help you. I have been fighting the same ridiculous bureaucratic nonsense here for over 2 years. Some days I have been where you are, frustrated, despondent, desperate and oh so tired, feeling like I've failed my Mum because I can't make everything perfect for her but in the end it is just about my Mum, and making her the most comfortable she can be. I know it is the same for you so you have to keep pushing forward :)

    *we may be kindred spirits I also use my husband as a buffer just before I am about to use terrible language lol , I have a daughter I worry about too as she is trying so hard to support me, and I grew up with a very precise Dad who I loved more than life itself ( he died in a NH 7 years ago this month)
     
  4. witts1973

    witts1973 Registered User

    Jun 20, 2018
    715
    Male
    Leamington Spa
    codamol is well known for causing constipation so you did well to get your dad back on the patches
     
  5. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,626
    how lovely to feel this connection - definitely kindred spirits!!!!

    I am pleased to say no furniture needed moving & a brand new profiling bed is in place!
    Thank you
    The support is appreciated so much

    I am sorry about your Dad but see this end stage as a release for my Dad. His love of classic fm & dry humour are still glimpsed.
     
  6. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,626
    I am becoming more drug savvy than ever!
    Meeting with new GP on Tuesday to talk about medication.
     
  7. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,712
    Female
    South coast
    Oh wow, well done.
    Good luck with the meeting on Tuesday. I was lucky with Mums GP as he was very approachable and listened to me. I hope you find the same, a it will be a huge relief if you find you are in agreement.
     
  8. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,626
    so far he seems fantastic, &already we have been phoned & are part of the process. Dad clings to my hand & I stay as long as I can; but I need to eat & rest myself so trying to balance life a little bit !
     
  9. TNJJ

    TNJJ Registered User

    May 7, 2019
    631
    Female
    cornwall
    Well done!Im assuming the GP is from the same practice?Sounds like the new GP is a lot more approachable and human.It helps enormously when they phone with updates. :)
     
  10. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,626
    Actually he seems amazingly switched on- fingers crossed.
     
  11. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,626
    So Dads swollen wrist is being treated with antibiotics
    More staff at the home & I noticed rest periods for all the residents that fell asleep in the chairs in the lounge- so no heads asleep on tables with a cushion ! That’s got to be good surely...
    Dads new bed seems more comfortable , & I left him yesterday after barely any food or drink asleep after a cuddle to the balmy sounds of classic fm!

    lots going on ,just exhausted & numb as to the sad reality of dementia. I want dignity & peace for him...
     
  12. witts1973

    witts1973 Registered User

    Jun 20, 2018
    715
    Male
    Leamington Spa
    I'm glad you got the bed,you're doing a great job,we can only try and do our best,nothing is ever going to be perfect,I have got used to that at my home with different carers but in the main things are going well
     
  13. DesperateofDevon

    DesperateofDevon Registered User

    Jul 7, 2019
    1,626
    medication assessment on Tuesday with the GP should be informative & clarify something issues.
     

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