Brucie said:
It is sensible to consider how long you can cope. In doing so you may identify areas where you feel vulnerable in your caring role, and it may be possible to address those at home, to continue.
You may also begin to identify those area where in actuality, it will not be possible to improve things, and thus to carry on.
I think it is always worth considering what alternatives there are, all the way along. It may be a case of the devil you know being better than the one you don't, or not.
Have you spoken to the doctors concerned with her diagnosis? Or tried to see what other support might be available to you? Or indeed gone to look at a nearby care home?
Hi Paris and Sandra
I think Bruce has given you the right answers.
First of all, you need to find out what help is available. Speak to your doctor, speak to social services, speak to the local branch of Alzheimer Society and Princess Royal Trust for Carers. There is a lot of help out there, but you have to know where to ask.
You may be able to get Crossroads to come in to give you a break, someone to help with bathing and dressing, daycare, incontinence assistance.
Once you've found out what's available, write it all down, and work out whether you can manage with that help. Try it for a while.
If you still find you can't cope, then start looking at residential homes. And do it without any guilt, because you've tried all the alternatives.
No-one has to make themself ill, or damage relationships or family life. We all do the best we can, and there comes a time for most of us when we have to admit defeat. There's no shame in that, provided we've done our best.
It's hard, I know, and it will get harder. I hope you both manage to get the help you need.
Let us know how you get on, we'll all support you.
Love,