After a few days of swinging from total hysteria at "being put away" to looking forward to her "holiday" we took mum for her week of repite care on Sunday afternoon. She seemed fine when we arrived and gave a performance that the Queen would have proud of. Staff seemed ok, room was lovely.She did take a bit of convincing that I was going to collect her and take her back home, but by the time I left I thought that everything was ok.
I rang Monday evening to see that she had settled and was told that she had spent most of the day "wandering". Bit concerned about this as mum will talk to anyone and is a great one for "joining in" with things. Went over Tuesday evening and I'm still not sure what to think about what I saw and what she said.I met the home manageress who scared the living daylights out of me and obviously missed her vocation as warden of a 1950's correctional facility. I found mum in the lounge, sitting on her own at the opposite end of the room from everyone else - and wearing the same clothes that I had left her in on Sunday. She was almost in tears as she told me that she couldn't change her clothes because she hasn't got any others and she didn't have her bath at the day-centre because she didn't have her bag ( the bag was left already packed for her when I left her on Sunday).
I took her to her room and on the way she said she had spent hours wandering around on Monday because she didn't know where her room was.This ties up with them telling me she wandering, but surely someone should have asked her why she was wandering or what she was looking for? I showed her all her clothes and gave her a complete change before chatting. Very difficult because one minute everyone is wonderful and she wants to stay and the next she wants to go home, and I'm very aware that most of the stories she tells are75% imagination. She believes she is in hospital and will only be able to go home if she is well enough. She wanted to back down to "the ward" as it was tea-time. When we got to the dining room tea was already well under way. This left me wondering what would have happened if we hadn't gone down when we did. Why hadn't anyone come looking for her? She is a confused old lady in a strange place and I expected a lot more - or is that the problem? Did I expect too much? I didn't say anything as mum is there for the rest of the week and I'm frightened of making things worse for her but now that I've had time to think I don't want her going there again and if residential care is ever needed then it won't be there.
Sorry for going on but I'm upset,I'm angry and I don't know how to deal with this. Do I speak to the home when I collect her or do I go to SS? I don't want to rock the boat as dad needs the break (I haven't told him any of this) but I would like her to go somewhere different next time.
I rang Monday evening to see that she had settled and was told that she had spent most of the day "wandering". Bit concerned about this as mum will talk to anyone and is a great one for "joining in" with things. Went over Tuesday evening and I'm still not sure what to think about what I saw and what she said.I met the home manageress who scared the living daylights out of me and obviously missed her vocation as warden of a 1950's correctional facility. I found mum in the lounge, sitting on her own at the opposite end of the room from everyone else - and wearing the same clothes that I had left her in on Sunday. She was almost in tears as she told me that she couldn't change her clothes because she hasn't got any others and she didn't have her bath at the day-centre because she didn't have her bag ( the bag was left already packed for her when I left her on Sunday).
I took her to her room and on the way she said she had spent hours wandering around on Monday because she didn't know where her room was.This ties up with them telling me she wandering, but surely someone should have asked her why she was wandering or what she was looking for? I showed her all her clothes and gave her a complete change before chatting. Very difficult because one minute everyone is wonderful and she wants to stay and the next she wants to go home, and I'm very aware that most of the stories she tells are75% imagination. She believes she is in hospital and will only be able to go home if she is well enough. She wanted to back down to "the ward" as it was tea-time. When we got to the dining room tea was already well under way. This left me wondering what would have happened if we hadn't gone down when we did. Why hadn't anyone come looking for her? She is a confused old lady in a strange place and I expected a lot more - or is that the problem? Did I expect too much? I didn't say anything as mum is there for the rest of the week and I'm frightened of making things worse for her but now that I've had time to think I don't want her going there again and if residential care is ever needed then it won't be there.
Sorry for going on but I'm upset,I'm angry and I don't know how to deal with this. Do I speak to the home when I collect her or do I go to SS? I don't want to rock the boat as dad needs the break (I haven't told him any of this) but I would like her to go somewhere different next time.
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