My dad has had Alzheimer's since 2010 and has gone downhill in the last 6 months to the point where mum (as his main carer) agreed to respite. He is not sleeping at night, up getting dressed at all hours and his hygiene has deteriorated.
We found a nice place that Mum felt very comfortable with and we all agreed that he would go in Monday and be collected Friday.
Yesterday was very difficult as expected and Mum was broken-hearted but I tried to reassure her that it was the right thing to do and, like day care, was a massive adjustment.
He has been there one night - didn't settle at all and so Mum has decided she is bringing him home tomorrow. She has been on the phone to the care manager and the social worker all day. They have tried to persuade her to give it more time, even suggested she go there herself and stay with him.
I expected it to be difficult but am at a loss to know how to help my mum and deal with this. I know I cannot begin to imagine the emotions my mum is feeling (she and Dad have been married 52 years).
She has said she cannot cope with him at home but cannot cope with him being away. I will always support and be there for her but am worried that she will become ill herself. She has simply said - I will keep going until I drop then someone else will have to look after him.
Please help - any advice gratefully received.
We found a nice place that Mum felt very comfortable with and we all agreed that he would go in Monday and be collected Friday.
Yesterday was very difficult as expected and Mum was broken-hearted but I tried to reassure her that it was the right thing to do and, like day care, was a massive adjustment.
He has been there one night - didn't settle at all and so Mum has decided she is bringing him home tomorrow. She has been on the phone to the care manager and the social worker all day. They have tried to persuade her to give it more time, even suggested she go there herself and stay with him.
I expected it to be difficult but am at a loss to know how to help my mum and deal with this. I know I cannot begin to imagine the emotions my mum is feeling (she and Dad have been married 52 years).
She has said she cannot cope with him at home but cannot cope with him being away. I will always support and be there for her but am worried that she will become ill herself. She has simply said - I will keep going until I drop then someone else will have to look after him.
Please help - any advice gratefully received.