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First Respite Care

marymary1898

Registered User
Hi, hope all are well,

Tonight I have left my mam in a care home for the first time.not permanently but for 2 weeks respite for my dad.
It's horrible, I hate it, but I do know that there was no alternative at the time.

Mam is obviously not happy but I was just looking for any tips to make things easier.
We have kind of decided not to take her out for a few days thinking she will get used to it quicker. We've left her with photos, books, puzzles, tv and radio etc.
The home is rated as one of the best in the county so i'm fairly confident she is getting the best care available. But knowing the wealth of experience here any advice would be gratefully received.

Thanks
X
 

hvml

Registered User
Oct 10, 2015
297
North Cornwall
Hi Mary

In my most recent experience, it's best to keep a close eye on things and make sure that the CH are following any specifications that you have laid down. Just a phone call in the morning should be ok. I relaxed too much and left them to it, which was a mistake on my part. I'm now dealing with some tricky consequences.

Having said that, it's given us the distance we needed and things are on the up. I think giving her a few days to settle down is a good idea, but keep yourself in the loop. Next time, I'll be phoning every morning for a progress report and not relying on my set of instructions.

Enjoy the break, do lots of things for you that you have not been able to do and....ditch the alarm clock if you can. Xx
 

Goldsmith

Registered User
Oct 21, 2015
18
Maldon, Essex
It is heartbreaaking to have to put someone in a care home. Yesterday we went to check out the two in our local area, both had plus points and in the end we just had to chose the one that had a vacancy. We are still managing FIL at home and have promised him that for as long as we can we will keep him with us but we have a funeral to go to next week which means an overnight stay plus two very long days out (a Christmas market and a reindeer experience with the grandchildren) that were originally booked for him too but we now think he would be better going somewhere warm for those days. We are hoping that if he goes in quite regularly for days and the occaisional overnight, if it comes to a permanent placement he may feel the place is familiar and settle quicker. Im pleased we went to see them yesterday because we have been given a list of forthcoming activities that we can take him too, Christmas Fair, Christmas dinner, carol singing evening, a mini bus trip to see the lights in the local villages and a monthly lunch to name just a few, both places appear to have the residents mental stimulation well catered for. It was just hard for me to even think it may come to a permanent placement.
 

balloo

Registered User
Sep 21, 2013
227
northamptonshire
It is heartbreaaking to have to put someone in a care home. Yesterday we went to check out the two in our local area, both had plus points and in the end we just had to chose the one that had a vacancy. We are still managing FIL at home and have promised him that for as long as we can we will keep him with us but we have a funeral to go to next week which means an overnight stay plus two very long days out (a Christmas market and a reindeer experience with the grandchildren) that were originally booked for him too but we now think he would be better going somewhere warm for those days. We are hoping that if he goes in quite regularly for days and the occaisional overnight, if it comes to a permanent placement he may feel the place is familiar and settle quicker. Im pleased we went to see them yesterday because we have been given a list of forthcoming activities that we can take him too, Christmas Fair, Christmas dinner, carol singing evening, a mini bus trip to see the lights in the local villages and a monthly lunch to name just a few, both places appear to have the residents mental stimulation well catered for. It was just hard for me to even think it may come to a permanent placement.
our local care home that looks good on paper only does minimum of 2 weeks at £1000 a week we need 1 night when my daughter graduates next year but they wont do it and we cannot book that far in advance so no help.so noidea what we going to do .
 

Goldsmith

Registered User
Oct 21, 2015
18
Maldon, Essex
Balloo, both the homes we visited yesterday divided the weekly cost by seven days to get a daily charge and both offered us overnight respite care. Might be worth checking out one a bit further afield. Have to say both CH looked good, both had residents busy making Christmas decorations so hard to chose on just one short visit but there was a huge difference in fees - one charging £150 more a week then the other. My preference was for the smaller CH but they were full the other was divided into three sections, one for dementia patients, one for residents that need a bit of support and several bungalows for those more able to care for themselves. I especially like the lay out of the dementia untit, it was a square very colourful corridor with the lounge and offices in the middle so any resident who needed to roam could walk in a full circle safely and not come across any walls, how well thought out is that.
 

fizzie

Registered User
Jul 20, 2011
2,730
our local care home that looks good on paper only does minimum of 2 weeks at £1000 a week we need 1 night when my daughter graduates next year but they wont do it and we cannot book that far in advance so no help.so noidea what we going to do .
Can you get a sitter from an agency for just one night. I know that is expensive but it is at least an option. We had a carer who would sometimes do odd times/nights for a fee lol