Hi, I am new to this, so please forgive me if I have posted in the incorrect place.
My mother has this terrible illness & I have just returned from a visit to see her & my step dad who cares for her. I live over 200miles away from them, work full time & have two small children to care for so I cannot get home as often as I should (& yes the guilt is all consuming) This last visit has me very concerned. She had a fall late September & broke her hip. Despite a long stay in hospital she hasn't regained any mobility. My dad decided to have her home to care for her, even though he is alone, in poor health himself & is not financially secure. She has 2 carers, 4 times a day who hoist her from her bed over to a chair & back again in the evening. She has deterioted to such a point that apart from a few outbursts she says nothing, its even hard to keep her awake. She is doubly incontinent & feeding is difficult & she has lost a lot of weight.
My dad believes I don't care/help enough, so I cannot raise the subject of care homes, which I believe she should be in and I worry that nobody is monitering the situation. The carers, whilst doing their jobs adequatly, are not medically trained & are in & out very quickly.
I know my father believes he is doing the right thing & trying his hardest, but I worry that its for the wrong reasons....but I feel my hands are tied & maybe I'm being selfish wishing she was safe in a home so I wouldn't feel so guilty all the time....
I neglected to mention that my mother is 67.
I realise I have been rambling a little, so I apologise, I have read your responses to other posts & have gained comfort knowing I'm not alone. Thanks
My mother has this terrible illness & I have just returned from a visit to see her & my step dad who cares for her. I live over 200miles away from them, work full time & have two small children to care for so I cannot get home as often as I should (& yes the guilt is all consuming) This last visit has me very concerned. She had a fall late September & broke her hip. Despite a long stay in hospital she hasn't regained any mobility. My dad decided to have her home to care for her, even though he is alone, in poor health himself & is not financially secure. She has 2 carers, 4 times a day who hoist her from her bed over to a chair & back again in the evening. She has deterioted to such a point that apart from a few outbursts she says nothing, its even hard to keep her awake. She is doubly incontinent & feeding is difficult & she has lost a lot of weight.
My dad believes I don't care/help enough, so I cannot raise the subject of care homes, which I believe she should be in and I worry that nobody is monitering the situation. The carers, whilst doing their jobs adequatly, are not medically trained & are in & out very quickly.
I know my father believes he is doing the right thing & trying his hardest, but I worry that its for the wrong reasons....but I feel my hands are tied & maybe I'm being selfish wishing she was safe in a home so I wouldn't feel so guilty all the time....
I neglected to mention that my mother is 67.
I realise I have been rambling a little, so I apologise, I have read your responses to other posts & have gained comfort knowing I'm not alone. Thanks