First Post. Mum just been brought home by the police !!

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Miko Smith, May 14, 2015.

  1. Miko Smith

    Miko Smith Registered User

    Jul 22, 2014
    2
    Hello,I have been caring for my mum in law for a year now and thought I was doing a pretty good job until the police pulled up and mum was in the back seat.We knew she was out and had the neighbours all scouring the area.Mum has Alzheimer's and arthritis in her back and until today I would have said she couldn't of made it a hundred yards let alone the half mile away where some kind soul called the community police.My wife and I live right next door to her and this has allowed me to care for her full time while my wife goes to work and provide for all of us.Mums 85 and in the mid to later stage and generally in good health although some days are better than others she does have bathing issues and some toilet accidents which I just clear up and get on with it but this has shook me pretty good and I guess I just wanted to let people know how quick this can happen. I know mums pretty lucky and we are in a good position to help her but sometimes I feel I am way out of my depth, I'm an electrician not a carer,but doing my best.I have been on this site for quite awhile and gotten a lot of good information and relief from reading other people's posts knowing I'm not alone and we,families of Alzheimer's patients,are all in this together.Even as I'm writing this I realise this incident is minor compared to other peoples struggles with this diabolical effing disease buts it's helped just writing this down.Thanks for reading this and good luck with your situation
     
  2. susy

    susy Registered User

    Jul 29, 2013
    806
    North East
    Oh bless you. Its such a shock when something like this happens all of a sudden. You are doing a great job and living next door must be a comfort for both you and your mum too. Lets hope she enjoyed her wonderful adventure and the car ride with these nice men in uniform.
     
  3. marionq

    marionq Registered User

    Apr 24, 2013
    5,550
    Female
    Scotland
    Miko she will now be on a register with the police as a vulnerable adult and they will send a report to the social services. This can be a good thing as it makes them take notice that you might need some help. My husband slipped out of his daycare a few weeks ago and the police were alerted. He has wandered a lot in recent weeks and now has several reports into SS. The more the merrier for me as I just cannot contain him. As fast as I keep him busy he is off in another direction! This is with two sticks and a bad knee.

    Don't worry too much about this episode as it is all in a day's work with this disease. Good luck with your caring.
     
  4. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,481
    Female
    London
    This isn't a minor incident. Wandering off is serious and can be dangerous. Contact social services for an assessment as she is placing herself at risk. They could provide a tracker device or get her some day care or sitting service - you can't be there 24/7 but you need to keep her safe.
     
  5. balloo

    balloo Registered User

    Sep 21, 2013
    227
    northamptonshire
    sitters thats a joke we seam to be the wrong side of the county only one in this area with Age UK. i tried to book i gave any eving just to get out with husband got offered a wed or a tuesday the folwing week
     
  6. angelface

    angelface Registered User

    Oct 8, 2011
    1,086
    london
    Have you got mil checked for any infections, UTI or anything?

    If this wandering over such a distance is unusual , maybe it is caused by an infection, as it is a bit extreme and out of charecter?

    I know it does feel awful when the police brings someone home like that. My aunt was brought home by police for driving the wrong way round a roundabout. She told them she was running from a gunman.

    This awful disease causes so much chaos and upset.
     
  7. Witzend

    Witzend Registered User

    Aug 29, 2007
    4,282
    SW London
    How do you ensure that somebody will take or wear a tracking device? I don't need one for anybody, just wondering. I can see that it might be easy enough if somebody invariably wears the same coat or jacket or carries the same handbag, but what if they don't?
     
  8. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,481
    Female
    London
    My OH has his on his key ring so it's always there but I have to make sure to charge up the battery so that might be a stumbling block for some.
     
  9. Not so Rosy

    Not so Rosy Registered User

    Nov 30, 2013
    580
    Dad used to go walkabout on a regular basis, I was more or less on first name terms with the local police team.

    I am ashamed to say I couldn't cope with a tracking device. I was completely on my own, Mum died of Dementia then within less than a year my Husband with cancer. I was there for Dad 20 hours a day and I really needed to be able to sleep for a few hours a night.
     
  10. susy

    susy Registered User

    Jul 29, 2013
    806
    North East
    Would alarms on her door that sound in your house help? At least then you could see when she was leaving etc. if it wasn't expected then you could possibly divert her instead.
     
  11. Maldives13

    Maldives13 Registered User

    Feb 4, 2014
    164
    Morning. We had a door alarm put on mums front door. Got it through a social services assessment. If mum opens the door in the middle of the night it goes through to a call centre. They persuade her to shut the door. If they can't make contact they ring me and I can be round there in 10 mins . Fun at 3 in the morning but she can't get far. Hope that helps and good lucl
     
  12. Miko Smith

    Miko Smith Registered User

    Jul 22, 2014
    2
    Thanks for the kind words,Mum has an appointment with the doctors today re infections and I will check out the door alarms and trackers.Just another day!! Cheers everyone
     

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