First Post- approaching the end?

Discussion in 'End of life care' started by hollyjepsonrandall, Nov 14, 2019.

  1. hollyjepsonrandall

    hollyjepsonrandall New member

    Nov 14, 2019
    1
    Hi all,

    My Nan was diagnosed with dementia just over 3 years ago and moved into a care home, it's been a steady decline since then, and my mum (POA) and I have been with her through it all, and we visit almost every day between us.
    However, in the last few months she has gotten significantly worse, she is now on thickened food and drink, and barely eats (maybe 2-3 tsp per meal, and probably 150ml a day). She hardly speaks, and when she does its a mumble. She has become incontenent, and is in her own little world, i dont think she really registeres who we are any more, but sees us as a familiar face.
    But in the last 2 weeks she has become bedbown, and now drifts in and out of consciensness.
    I have a feeling that we might be aproaching the end, and i feel like in greiving for her before she's gone, but i just dont know what to do.
    In some way as horrid as it sounds i wish she would just drift off in her sleep, but at the same time i don't want to lose my nan, she lived with me all through my childhood (I'm 18 now), and i miss her so so much.
    I don't really know what I'm asking, just had to get it all off my chest, Mum is very upset too, and im trying to support her through all the horrible decisions.
    Basically, is there any way to tell how long we have left with her, and does anyone have advice on how to stop greiving before its time?
    thanks all, sorry for the huge rant xx
     
  2. karaokePete

    karaokePete Registered User

    Jul 23, 2017
    5,022
    N Ireland
    Hello @hollyjepsonrandall, you are welcome here. You have come to the right place for support.

    You seem to be at a very difficult stage and, unfortunately, there isn't an easy answer to your question. People take their own time and can rally and lapse a few times. It can be an emotional rollercoaster.

    It's a bit matter of fact, however, the Society produce a factsheet about this stage and you can find it by clicking the 2nd line of the following link
    End of life care (531)
    PDF printable version

    Now that you have found us please do keep posting as the membership has vast collective knowledge and experience.
     

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