First mum now dad


Registered User
Dec 4, 2007
I am new to this site and have not posted before. My mum has vascular dementia and has been in a nursing home for 18 months.

My dad has been having problems with looking after himself and it appears he has alzheimers. I gave up my job and have been doing my best to help him for the last year.

Following a fall he spent 4 weeks in hospital and has been unable to walk since the fall. I have now got him into the nusing home my mum lives in.

I don't have to describe to anyone on this site the misery of watching them suffer and the agony of making decisions on their behalf.


Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
Glad you found TP welcome

the agony of making decisions on their behalf.
Do feel for you , but you done the right thing , even if you don' t feel it now , easy for me to say I know

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Oh dear. How hard can it have been for you. You have my deepest sympathy and admiration.

I hope now both parents are being cared for, you will have some time for yourself. You must be drained.

Take care and keep in touch now you`ve found TP.


Registered User
Jul 10, 2006
south lanarkshire
Hello Botanico

Welcome to Tp, I hope you find it as helpful, supportive and informative as I have.

Like you my Dad has Alzhiemers and my Mum has vascular Dementia.

Whilst Dad is now fine in the care home, Mum's condition deteriorated and she is now in the assessment ward of the local hospital

Maybe I am totally wrong, but I think, (although only my personal experience) that Alzhiemers is easier to cope with than vascular dementia

My Mother-in-Law has mixed dementia, but she is easier to handle than my Mum.

It is agony watching our parents deteriorating

Take care of yourself


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Hi Botanico, and welcome to TP.

It must be so hard to cope with two parents with dementia. Those of us who have followed Alfjess' story know how hard it has been for her. I'm sure she'll have lots of advice for you, and the rest of us will try to support where we can.

Just post, any time.


Registered User
Jul 31, 2007
Hello Botanico,
Welcome to Talking Point. I am so very sorry to hear about your parents. Having one loved one is hard but two, you must be beside yourself. There is always the Alzheimers Branch if you have one near you. I wish you all the best. Christine


Registered User
Apr 15, 2007
Hello Botanico, and welcome to TP.

I am sorry to read of your situation and it is all so unfair. My
situation is not unsimilar. I also gave work away to look after mum she has ALZ and is now in a care home. My father's health is failing him and he also has falls but he refuses the Dr's requests to go into care. My dad displays many ALZ symptoms but this could be all down to his poor health. I can truly sympathise with you. I hope that things are more manageable for you. Best Wishes, Taffy.