this will be my first Christmas without my OH at home as he went into residential care in July. I thought I was beginning to handle things reasonably well but the last couple of days I have gone back to crying at odd times during the day and can only assume that it’s because he’s not here for Christmas. I remember that when things were getting really bad thinking if I could only keep him home with me for one more Christmas but in the end couldn’t do so. My son is arriving today to spend Christmas with me but I can’t find any effort to get into the spirit of it all. I must get a tree up and a few decorations for my sons sake. If he wasn’t coming I wouldn’t bother at all. I know most of you are struggling with the holiday like I used to when my OH was with me and I wish you all the strength to enjoy the the time with your love ones. One of my favourite memories was my OH reading his cracker joke over and over and laughing as if he had read it for the first time. Happy Christmas to you all and a healthy New Year.