Fingers crossed for a step forward tomorrow

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by CrystalWand, Nov 25, 2015.

  1. CrystalWand

    CrystalWand Registered User

    Nov 9, 2015
    18
    I spoke to MIL's GP today to express our concerns over how sleepy/difficult to wake and confused she has been recently. I said I knew she couldn't discuss any information with me but i just wanted to let her know we were worried and if anything could be done to help. She was very kind and asked me all sorts of questions, said there had been no changes to her meds and offered a home visit tomorrow to investigate possible UTI (she has had loads of bad ones) and do a mini-assessment so I am happy about that :)

    I then rang the main carer to explain and ask for a urine sample to be collected in the morning (difficult as MIL wears pads) and that the GP said she must drink plenty (always a fight) and although I acknowledged the difficulties I was kind of left with the feeling I had almost overstepped the mark and it was putting the carers out, but she then started to backtrack and told me not to worry, it would all be sorted :confused:

    When I spoke to MIL this evening to let her know she would get a visit she was pleased, she hates being so sleepy. Maybe the carers aren't best pleased that I've talked to her GP myself but I would rather put my MIL first and as their comments have only been 'maybe she had a bad night' :eek: I wonder at what point they would have reported it?

    Anyway, fingers crossed that something positive comes from tomorrow's visit and it is something her GP can help her with :)
     
  2. stanleypj

    stanleypj Registered User

    Dec 8, 2011
    10,684
    North West
    It sounds as though you are doing exactly the right things to try to keep your mum as well as possible. The paid carers should not be questioning your judgement in my view.
     
  3. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,731
    Wow Crystal you have achieved so much - well done x
    I agree with Stanley that the carers are there to support and to help but not to over-ride close family members who have only the best interests of their loved one at heart.

    Keep going, we are all here to support you. Fingers crossed that tomorrow will bring some new and positive outcomes x
     
  4. CrystalWand

    CrystalWand Registered User

    Nov 9, 2015
    18
    Thank you Stanleypj and Fizzie :) I feel reassured by your comments.

    The carers are mainly lovely, and very quick to report any sores to the district nurse (MIL is also diabetic) but I feel the carers miss the general overview of how she is because they are in and out so quickly, reinforced by a comment one of them made recently.
    I also think there are frequent delays in treating her UTI's as they can't get a sample :(

    Sadly I can't be there today as I am full of cold/sore throat/chesty cough so I'm going to email her GP as a follow up to ask for a meeting with MIL there too if she feels it's needed at this time.

    I've also broached the subject of a LPA with hubby, I think this would be worthwhile and I will happily do it as I have been so involved with her health over the last few years. Her finances are already looked after by my BIL. The other BIL lives abroad and really doesn't get involved with any of this, partly denial I think but he has some health problems of his own.

    Sigh... so much to think about!

    I'm so glad I found TP

    xx
     
  5. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,731
    Just a thought, after my Ma had a couple of UTIs I requested that she be put on a low daily dose antibiotic to prevent them as we couldn't get samples either, our GP agreed and bye bye UTI we didn't ever have another one!! Worth a thought if your GP is as good as ours x
     
  6. CrystalWand

    CrystalWand Registered User

    Nov 9, 2015
    18
    She was on a low dose for a couple of years but for some reason they stopped them. She was averse to taking several of the meds she was regularly prescribed and I wouldn't be surprised if they stopped them as she wasn't taking them regularly.
    I will raise it again as I always thought it was a good idea and she wouldn't know what she was taking now as the carers give her whatever has been prescribed ;)
    Also better a low dose than the industrial strength ones they give her that she hates!

    x
     
  7. fizzie

    fizzie Registered User

    Jul 20, 2011
    2,731
    Good idea, if they are in the box she will have them, same as my Ma xx
     
  8. CrystalWand

    CrystalWand Registered User

    Nov 9, 2015
    18
    Well I just spoke to my Mum and she tells me that 2 people arrived from the GP surgery, she thinks possibly a doctor and a junior doctor - and a carer with them so I am doubly pleased about that :) I should add that my Mum had gone down to let the doctor into MIL's flat in case there had not been a carer available.
    I don't know the outcome yet but they were there for 20-30 minutes, although MIL said they 'didn't do much' :rolleyes:
    Having said that, a positive was that MIL remembered my conversaiton with her last night that they would be coming to have a chat with her about her falling asleep so much, although she got the day wrong and then told my Mum she hadn't got her phone number and insisted she wrote it down.....
    Hubby has gone to see his Mum for a couple of hours so I may find out more but am feeling fairly positive so far
    x
     

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