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Finding the Key


Registered User
Mar 25, 2017
South of the Border
Elsewhere, I have talked about my struggle to get my partner to understand that his family want him to move back to be close with them, where they can care for him, and relieve me of the pressure of doing it alone.

This time yesterday I was in total despair, as so many people have worked so hard on a plan and he just would not/could not accept any of it. His son shared my sorrow, and could not think what we could do next.

This morning, I decided to give it another try, and I we spoke, I could see he was 'getting none of it.' Then I remembered his obsessive ways - he has to have at least 20 yoghurts in the fridge , has to be a specific brand and flavour, he has to have several tubes of toothpaste in case he runs out.

So, I tried to use this trait.

I explained that if I died during the night, no one would be here to look after him. I said he had no options open to him.
Then I explained if he agreed to be put forward for specific council housing back where his family are, he would then have options.

I asked him to try to keep that one small phrase in his mind - that it is better to have options than to have no options.


He now wants to know all about the property, where the bus stop is, where the nearest yoghurt shop is etc etc Will I go and visit him, and so on....

After months of worry including him threatening to kill himself - we finally are starting to make headway.

Let's hope he doesn't forget over night.

I hope to sleep better tonight and have put my Aloe Vera plant in the bedroom as they are supposed to help!


Volunteer Host
Apr 13, 2018
@maryjoan, that sounds like real progress. I'd just keep repeating the same things to your partner while liaising with his son to try and get the move sorted.
Fingers crossed.


Registered User
Sep 2, 2019
Relief; and you've turned the situation around in such a focused, gentle and positive way.
Time now to regroup and peace to you xx

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