Finding somwhere for Dad

[katdan]

Hi, not been here for a while.I had a meeting with Dads social worker and someone from the mental health team and it was agreed that Dad needed residential care. He has carers going in 4 times a day at the moment but is not very happy with all these people going in - he cannot understand that they are there to help him and I am getting calls from the carers about him.

I went to look at a home that catered for dementia but when my husband and I got there we could here someone shouting even befor we entered the building. The home was lovely and the staff seemed very nice, but as Dad is not as bad as the people there I could not let him go there. Dads main problem is that he wanders so we will need somewhere with a "locked door" but he would be aware of the other people and would not settle there. It is his short term memory and the wandering that are the concerns.

Does anyone know which would be the best type of home to look at, so that he will be safe but would not feel like he was in a distressing situation.

I hope that someone will have some advice.

Many Thanks

katdan
x

 

[Vonny]

Hi Katdan,

I'm not sure if such a place exists! If you need a secure unit, I suspect there may be "difficult" patients in most of them. I can only suggest that you try a number of different CHs in your area.

http://www.cqc.org.uk/findcareservices/socialcare.cfm provides information about CHs, including EMI and nursing units.

It may even be worth visiting the CH you have seen at a different time. It may have been a one-off, you never know. I think it is worth a 2nd visit anyway. The one CH I looked at for my mum seemed really excellent, but images keep coming back to me...the residents seemed a bit too calm. Maybe that's good, maybe not. I just know that I need a 2nd look around before I recommend sending mum there for respite.

Good luck

Vonny xx

 

[fredsnail]

Like you we visited a home specialising in dementia - and could hear people shouting from the carpark, although the staff were lovely and the home was nice we knew that Grandad wouldn't be happy there - he has no idea most of the time that he has mental problems and thinks he's in a home because he's had a number of falls and is virtually immobile.

We however also visited some nursing homes and dual residential/nursing homes. We were very upfront with each home about Grandad's symptoms and problems on a bad day - and explained that it was not normally that bad but we wanted them to know how bad it could get.

Each home thanked us for being so honest with them - apparently they are normally given the "everything is rosy" description and then have to reassess whether they are able to care for the client.

Most of them were honest about whether they could cope with a dementia patient - the main problem/fear was wandering with an increased risk of falling but there were a few nursing homes who would take Grandad.

Good luck with your hunt - try to see as many homes as you can of all types - you will know the best one then.