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Finding sheltered accommodation in new borough


Registered User
Apr 21, 2015
Hello. This is my first post and I'm hoping to benefit from others' experience.

My parents live in Northern Ireland and I am in England. My dad has AD and his behaviour is increasingly challenging. Mum copes brilliantly but the strain is enormous and I know it can only get worse. I work and have a son still at school, so moving back home is not feasible for me. I really don't want Mum to have to deal with everything on her own ( I'm an only child) and we're thinking the best solution is for them to move over here, either to live with me or, as Mum would prefer, in a flat of their own nearby. The sale of their house won't fund the smallest flat here, so I'm starting to look at sheltered accommodation possibilities.

Does anyone know how easy/hard it is to get on a Council list for accommodation if you've never lived in the relevant borough? Presumably coming from out of town puts you fairly far down the 'points system'? Or does anyone know anything about shared ownership schemes that apply to the elderly ?

Many thanks. E.


Registered User
Nov 9, 2009
Hello Effie, just wanted to acknowledge your post and offer a warm welcome to Talking Point, so sorry you have need to find us but hoping this safe and friendly website can offer support..herewith a link which may be of help and maybe someone here will have had experience of your parents current situation..do hope so:(


Take care and please don't feel so alone now:)
Chris x


Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
Effie, if your Dad had to go into care would he not have a better chance of that in NI than in England? Pressure in England on services is greater because of a bigger population so I would take time to research this before you all commit yourselves.


Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
Radcliffe on Trent
Hi Effie

We looked at this option for my mum as she lived alone 70 miles away, so obviously in a different council area to us. I got her local social services people and her GP to write a letter stating the need for her to be closer to family so that we could support her as this would make her a higher priority for sheltered accommodation. However, in our area, even if you are classed as high priority, you still have to wait for a suitable place to be available and then 'bid' against others so you have to constantly monitor when vacancies are announced and then get in quick. Nobody could give me any idea of how long people typically spend on the waiting list.

In the end, having done more research, we never actually tested the system as mum's condition deteriorated too rapidly and she moved directly to a care home.

So I can't tell you how hard it would have been in practice or how long she would have had to wait. I'd just say that the effort and upheaval of moving would only be worth it if you feel that the sheltered accommodation would work for a reasonable amount of time.

If you think it would, talk to your LA housing dept and see what the local options are. There may also be private rented sheltered complexes which don't require you to go through the LA housing waiting lists; they were very scarce round here and all had their own waiting lists though.
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Registered User
Apr 21, 2015
Very many thanks for kind advice. I take the point about Social Services /care homes being overloaded in England, but as we mean to care for Dad as long as we are able at home, that may just have to be a calculated risk. And thanks, too, for explaining the bidding system for sheltered housing. Personally, I would prefer my parents to live with me . I'm not naïve about what this entails, they regularly stay for long visits
;it's my mother who is keen to have her own home, though I'm pretty sure she's saying that because she doesn't want to impose. I imagine it's a pretty common situation where family members are constantly trying to put the others first, resulting in stalemate. But we will work it out. There will, I know, come a time when Mum simply can't cope on her own , and at that point we'll just have to move fast. It's frustrating that these things can't be planned, but I guess that's the nature of the disease!

It is, however, fantastically helpful to talk these things through with people who have been in the same situation, so thanks again.



Registered User
Jan 5, 2014
I used the link Jenniferpa has given to find my mum sheltered extra care housing.

She purchased a shared ownership property with a housing association last March, and there was no waiting list and just an SS assessment to assess her level of care. I think I am lucky being in an area of the country which has god availability of this sort of accommodation - same housing association has opened another 130 unit complex in a neighbouring town.

I did also look at sheltered rented from a housing association, and she would have been considered based on need for points score and link to me and my support but didn't actually follow this through as I decided she needed extra care.

I know I have looked for sheltered and extra care properties on this site for my MIL and she has little anywhere near her (rural Scotland), no dementia just severe mobility issues on the horizon (88 and planning a knee replacement op - but if it fails :eek:)

My mum came from outside London and I found sheltered and sheltered extra care schemes on this site near there, but in the end realised that I needed to move her near to me.

I suggest you see what there is and then phone up, nothing to lose, and if they get on a list they start moving up it.